Recent Entries

• Ton of bricks

  October 30, 2020

  I have always thought the expression "hit me like a ton of bricks" was funny. How could you not see something in your life failing so bad that you can't see it coming? And then I lived it for the last 22 months. I can't say that there hasn't been some "up's" over this time.…

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• Not suicide, but suicidal

  October 26, 2020

  I have really been thinking of ending it all.  My relationship with my kids is just a one way thing. I send gifts, make calls, and send messages. They don't reciprocate. The ex is now remarried, having waited a total 2 weeks after the divorce was finalized. I have never been told why? I am…

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• It’s me

  October 5, 2020

  Another early morning after another lonely weekend. It's become apparent that maybe it's me. All my friends and family have just fallen out of my life and I now I realize, that it's me. They don't answer when I call or write. No visits or concerned check ins. I haven't heard from any of them…

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• Putting out the positive?

  September 29, 2020

  The one piece of advice I've been given, or should I say pushed down my throat, is put out positivity and it will come back. Still waiting on that. I have been the guy who buys the person behind me order at the drive through. I bought a lady's groceries. Donated to every cause that…

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• New day, same problems

  September 28, 2020

  I walked away from open diary a few months back. I thought I finally found someone or someones to actually talk to in the "real world". I didn't. Once again, just like the 4 other times since my divorce, I thought I found someone who wanted to be with me. Just as before, I got…

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• Happy 15th Anniversary???

  August 3, 2020

  So, to get this out and not make personal life even harder, I am ranting here.. You promised shared joint custody.... You Lied You promised you wouldn't bring the "new" boyfriend around to soon, so the boys could cope.... You Lied You said you would give me a fair share of the house, which was&he...

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• Social ramblings from a old, bald, and fat man with BPD part 2

  July 30, 2020

  So, maybe I ruffled some feathers yesterday, so here we go again... White privilege, police, and racial inequality... Really? Do you really think whites all hate blacks? Do blacks hate whites? Is it right to judge a whole group? Is it right to judge one person on the sins of their ancestors? Ther...

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• Social ramblings from a old, bald, and fat man with BPD

  July 29, 2020

  What has become of common sense and thinking over the last several years? How is it the actions of a few people out of the millions of citizens caused such an unneeded response? Cities, businesses, and culture are burning. Large groups of young people who haven't even lived life are protesting an...

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• Mr. Bifaro

  July 27, 2020

  When I was a kid I had a paper route. One of my customers was Mr. Bifaro. I had never met a more angry man in my life. It wasn't an act, it was his reaction to everything and everyone. "Get off my grass" and " Why are you so late" were 2 of the…

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