Recent Entries

• Morgen visit

  October 3, 2024

  Morgen my second oldest came to see today. All in all it was a good visit even if I couldn't offer him dinner or something. I really hate what my life has become. I hate that I no longer have Harmonia to talk to. I hate that I have to wait yet one more week…

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• Dumped again

  September 30, 2024

  Well I just got dumped by my psychiatrist and therapist program today. They want me to go to another place that can better suit my needs. All I need is someone to talk to every other week and someone to provide the meds they have gotten me addicted to. So now it's a catch 22…

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• Why do I care what she thinks

  September 29, 2024

  So as I sit in the solitude of my apartment I start to wonder if she ever thinks about me. Nothing major, just a thought of the guy you were with 20 years and have 4 kids with. Or is she completely over it and has made up a new story in her head. Why…

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• Practice

  September 26, 2024

  So I'm sitting here at my one son's football practices. I wish I could be as into it as the other parents are, but embarrassment and depression keeps me from it.  I haven't started back to work yet although I have a job. All the fears are still there. The eviction and the car and…

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• Sitting

  September 19, 2024

  The walk is walked, can't sleep anymore, so sick of YouTube so I just sitting here. My apartment is stuffy and running about 80° so it's uncomfortable, outside isn't much better except for the stuffy. I'm scared. I'm scared to go back to work no matter what it turns out to be. I just wish…

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• Never fails

  September 18, 2024

  So I may have a job, problem is it's one I don't want. Convenience store, what made me loose my mind in the first place. Although I had a good interview at Sherwin Williams, a job I would much rather have, I haven't heard back yet. I know what you're thinking, take the one then…

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• I don’t know

  September 11, 2024

  The days are getting closer to when I will be homeless and jobless. Haven't ate anything nutritious in over 2 months. Days have become a blur of waking, job searching, total anxiety attacks, napping, loneliness, and then bed. Is my car going to make it? I don't know Will I get a decent job to&hel...

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• Younger Me

  September 9, 2024

  Colby 17, You have gone and messed you life up. I am writing this to you almost 40 years in the future. I wish I could come there in person and sit and talk, but this will have to do. First. You don't need a girl to complete you. Take the lesson learned from Pam.…

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• The typical Sunday blahs

  September 8, 2024

  Spent the day with my 2 youngest boys, but just like that the days over, they're back home, I'm dying here wishing I had more time. It's like picking a scab and the wound won't heal and won't heal right. A nasty scar sits there to constantly remind you of the wound. They live the…

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