Recent Entries

• New twist

  July 16, 2024

  so now I'm scared and anxious to get another job. I have already self sabotaged one by being over anxious and I fear I may do it again For some reason my therapist and psychiatrist aren't available and I have no one else to talk about it, that is unless I want the nasty replies…

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• I did a stupid thing.

  July 12, 2024

  I quit my job. I have $1400 in the bank and I quit my job. Ofcourse I was told that I could get hired at a friend's place. Doesn't seem to be happening now. Don't get me wrong I was suffering with burnout, like anxiety inducing panic burnout . Never a day off, more work…

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• Another concert, alone

  June 12, 2024

  It's been a while since I last posted. I hope I haven't lost people on here too. Things are all crazy right now. I'm thinking of quitting my job to have a break. I want to change jobs, but haven't heard back from anyone yet. I've just been a mess of anxiety and depression. So…

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• Losing people

  April 20, 2024

  So I almost lost my job, maybe it would have been preferable than what I am stuck in now. I thought she was a friend. She talked like a sailor and acted like one too. Until she reportede for harassment because I squeezed her shoulders as I had done a hundred times before . I…

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• To her

  April 9, 2024

  I saw you walking today, God I still love you. Do you ever think about me how I do you? I still live my life like you are in it. I even go so far as sleeping with a pillow at my back so it feels like your there with me. I'm crying like a…

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• No motivation

  April 4, 2024

  Here I am at work and I have no motivation at all. My morning cashier is sick and I have several hours of paperwork to do while also running the register. It's nice I have customers but I haven't gotten away from the counter to do anything. You know what, I don't want to. I…

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• Even in a crowd

  March 15, 2024

  I really thought that "getting out" would be a good thing. I tried. Went for a fish fry at a local place. Wound up almost leaving after I was ignored for 15 minutes, no they weren't that busy, I was not a usual. Food was good, but just had the tinge of loneliness that made…

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• A whisper

  March 10, 2024

  Ive decided to stop living life screaming for people to be in mine. I have a codependency issue I have to learn to live with. It's hard to be codependent on a person who decided in a day that you weren't worth the piss to put out the fire you're engulfed in. Codependent on friends…

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• I’m fine

  February 18, 2024

  I'm fine. I'm not the friend I should be, or the father, husband, brother or person either. I'm fine I you or someone you know, blah, blah, blah...   I could be dead for weeks before someone will miss me. Cry for help? Yeah, that's been going on for 5 years now and no one I…

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