Recent Entries

• What is catastrophising?

  March 19, 2023

  It's me. Overthinking. Stress. Anxious feeling. Racing thoughts. Fear and anger. Depression. Pessimism. Stuck in your head. There's finally a name for it all. Along with some other thing my psychiatrist is thinking. I drove the boy back to school today so the 80 mile trip home alone didn't help. ...

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• The phrase 2

  March 16, 2023

  I apparently struck a nerve with what I wrote. I do that a lot. Now I never meant to say that I wouldn't sacrifice for my children. I have since I was 18 and my daughter was born. Where others can say they did something for themselves to benefit their kids, I can't. I lived…

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• The phrase

  March 15, 2023

  The one phrase I never wanted to hear again after all the drama of my 1st divorce and fallout is: " You have to for the kids" Before you take me to church on what I said, I mean hearing this and it meaning having to talk nice and act like every shitty thing Patty…

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• Update 3 14 23

  March 14, 2023

  So work is going good, I think. They expect my to do training and in the nicest way possible, thrown me to the wolves answering call, taking payments,  and writing applications. My anxiety is kicking in because I'm not hearing constant praise or criticism. I know, I'm crazy like that, working on ...

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• The boys

  March 12, 2023

  I'm not sure why, but I almost feel like I am just a novelty to my sons. Not to be taken seriously, but kind of included out of pity. I guess for me, life works differently. I had what comes down to a total mentaly and emotional break a few years ago without any sort…

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• So where I’m at 3/11

  March 11, 2023

  I'm the guy at the end of the counter at the local dinner. As opposed to Derby, Silver Creek has two. This is Aunt Millies, the place to go here when you're thinking of going out. My reasons, besides hunger, is to see if anyone will recognize me and actually come up to talk. Seeing…

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• More thoughts

  March 9, 2023

  So the halls were so much worse tonight. Like a skunk orgy went off the rails. I don't get it, people bitch about smoke smell, but not Marijuana which is like licking a skunks ass. I met a neighbor tonight. As soon as I gave my name, she proceeded to ask if I was Ed's…

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• Thoughts

  March 9, 2023

  The jobs going good, a lot of stuff to learn, but not overwhelming. Seams my brain goes through ebs and flows. I have to laugh when people almost push smoking Marijuana on you, when just maybe 10 years ago would give you a dirty look for making a joke. Speaking of that. Marijuana smoke does…

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• Reason #246

  March 7, 2023

  I originally was going to write about something more like my usual rants, but as I was leaving the new place.... Reason #246 I never wanted to live in an apartment building is this. As I left my place immediately there are 2 people sitting right there. Not being prepared, I mumbled a hello only&h...

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