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Holidaze

November 24, 2021
This will be the 3rd Thanksgiving I will spend alone. The kids will be at my sister's for a "family" Thanksgiving that for some unknown reason, I've never been invited to. My guess? My ex and her new husband will also be there. Maybe I am right, maybe I am wrong, but I do know…
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Recent Entries

  • I’m my own worst enemy
    November 23, 2021
    "Hello, my name is Colby, and I am an overdramatic idiot" For three years I have looked, asked, and waited for answers to a question that really doesn't have one. A question that is wrapped up in fate, karma, and the whims of God. I'm sure I am not the first person to have the question,…
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  • Back to the swamp
    November 19, 2021
    Well my noodle's full of dumb thoughts again. Need to get them out somehow...   Taylor Dayne's "Love will lead you back" just played and I realized that the sentiment expressed in the song is, well, BULL SHIT. Well maybe just for me that is. I have 4 kids with my ex, who still lives…
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  • Dreams or God Damn my last few entries were too deep…
    November 17, 2021
    So, let's just admit that I've been a wee bit "poor me" lately. I should have every reason to be filled with hate and venom, but it just wraps around and good times POP in.. Enuf of that!!!!  * Yes, I meant to spell it wrong spelling Nazis.... 😝   ANY HOO..  Dreams. Last night I…
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  • I’ve reached the point…
    November 16, 2021
    I over share on Facebook. For some reason I think someone will finally understand. They don't or won't or couldn't give 2 shits. You see, I've "humpty dumptied" myself. Since I turned 18 in 1989, I have, I must have, secretly sabotaged everything in my life. My relationships, my jobs, my self wor...
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  • How would you know
    November 15, 2021
    I find it so funny that people, mostly women, do not understand or empathize with what the broken up with person is feeling. No, not the simple we've dated for a bit type of break. I'm saying the years long, marriage with kids and living a way of life break. She says, "it's been almost…
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  • Something I have to force myself not to write to her….
    November 12, 2021
    To my ex:   Patty, You were and always will be my only true love. Whether or not it truly ended because of money issues, it just did. I did everything to make you happy and secure, but I must not have done enough. I've missed you everyday since. I cry in the morning when…
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  • Asset 6
    Asset 5
    I can’t keep doing it this way
    November 11, 2021
    The end of my marriage came suddenly on a January day in 2019. I can only explain it like those stories of a pet who for years sits at the train station or bus stop and waits for someone who never returns. Unlike the pet though, people aren't and never were interested in helping the…
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  • And there it is…
    November 10, 2021
    I used to have 3 important women in my life. 3 unconditional loves. My daughter died in 2012. My mother in 2018. My wife, although still alive, died in 2019. I lost all three in a matter of hours.. Two were sudden and one was known. Two hurt me horribly and one destroyed me. I…
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  • Cry
    November 9, 2021
    She never cried. Almost 20 years together, almost problem free, 4 children and one of the best extended families a person could ask for and she never shed a tear to me, for me. No reason was ever given why she was no longer in love with me or why our marriage had to end.…
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