Recent Entries

• Brave face

  July 1, 2020

  2 in one day.. I hate me, I have for years. I have a vision of what I want to be and I strive to be that, but keep running into walls. I work in a retail type of industry and I have learned to fake happiness.  I pleasantly greet people with all the fake…

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• A New Kind of Sadness

  July 1, 2020

  I don't think I have ever gone this long without a new friend or relationship.  I'm not talking about the friends I made on here or Facebook, I mean a stop over for a drink, play a game, or have a date friend. I'm lonely, even with a puppy, I'm lonely. The focus is on…

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• Just the way it is

  June 19, 2020

  So I finally came to the realization that I am going to be alone for the rest of my life. Yes I can fill the time with a dog, friends on line (the ones around me have no time for me) and my boys, well until the time they don't wish to come around. Several…

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• on and on

  June 18, 2020

  I thought I finally met someone to move on from all the sorrow and pain left from Patty. Ofcourse that didn't happen and it is just more salt to the wound. Nanee,  my puppy, and the visits from my sons seam to help, but not really.  I stupidly thought they would fill the void, but…

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• Best laid plans

  June 7, 2020

  I got a puppy a month ago, what I thought would be a loving relationship, I see it all the time, the dog is there, by your side, no matter what. It seams mine could care less.  I have spent a month treating, talking funny, encouraging,  and such. She acts as if I am the…

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• Best laid plans

  June 7, 2020

  I got a puppy a month ago, what I thought would be a loving relationship, I see it all the time, the dog is there, by your side, no matter what. It seams mine could care less.  I have spent a month treating, talking funny, encouraging,  and such. She acts as if I am the…

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• ugh

  May 12, 2020

  I may be wrong, but if everything I've heard about Covid is that it's a natural thing that got out of hand. It used to be this was called an act of God. Yes, the same God that you can say is behind beautiful sunsets and fields of breath taking flowers. The same God behind…

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• Holidays

  May 10, 2020

  it took me a long time to get back into holidays after my first marriage failed back in 1991. Now, I'm back to hating them. I don't have a mother anymore to celebrate and the mother of my boys, can't seem to talk to me although I have sent a gift and well wishes for…

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• NY unemployment

  May 2, 2020

  So I never got paid this week. I have been paid the last 4 weeks without fail, but nothing this week. I have tried a total of 8 hours to get through to them and although they say they are there 7 days and have hired more people nothing. You call the number and sit…

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