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It’s me

October 5, 2020
Another early morning after another lonely weekend. It's become apparent that maybe it's me. All my friends and family have just fallen out of my life and I now I realize, that it's me. They don't answer when I call or write. No visits or concerned check ins. I haven't heard from any of them…
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Recent Entries

  • Putting out the positive?
    September 29, 2020
    The one piece of advice I've been given, or should I say pushed down my throat, is put out positivity and it will come back. Still waiting on that. I have been the guy who buys the person behind me order at the drive through. I bought a lady's groceries. Donated to every cause that…
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  • New day, same problems
    September 28, 2020
    I walked away from open diary a few months back. I thought I finally found someone or someones to actually talk to in the "real world". I didn't. Once again, just like the 4 other times since my divorce, I thought I found someone who wanted to be with me. Just as before, I got…
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  • Happy 15th Anniversary???
    August 3, 2020
    So, to get this out and not make personal life even harder, I am ranting here.. You promised shared joint custody.... You Lied You promised you wouldn't bring the "new" boyfriend around to soon, so the boys could cope.... You Lied You said you would give me a fair share of the house, which was&he...
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  • Social ramblings from a old, bald, and fat man with BPD part 2
    July 30, 2020
    So, maybe I ruffled some feathers yesterday, so here we go again... White privilege, police, and racial inequality... Really? Do you really think whites all hate blacks? Do blacks hate whites? Is it right to judge a whole group? Is it right to judge one person on the sins of their ancestors? Ther...
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  • Social ramblings from a old, bald, and fat man with BPD
    July 29, 2020
    What has become of common sense and thinking over the last several years? How is it the actions of a few people out of the millions of citizens caused such an unneeded response? Cities, businesses, and culture are burning. Large groups of young people who haven't even lived life are protesting an...
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  • Mr. Bifaro
    July 27, 2020
    When I was a kid I had a paper route. One of my customers was Mr. Bifaro. I had never met a more angry man in my life. It wasn't an act, it was his reaction to everything and everyone. "Get off my grass" and " Why are you so late" were 2 of the…
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  • Hard
    July 19, 2020
    I am starting to realize the only way through the rest of my days is to harden my heart and soul. I have been a loving and caring person all these years and it's gotten me nothing and nowhere. Two marriages, with kids, both gone. I gave them both all I could. My first, my…
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  • It’s never enough
    July 4, 2020
    When is it ever enough? Cain killed Able, should we hate brothers? Adam and Eve populated the world, are we all a bunch of insest people? Noah only allowed his family on the ark, are we all antisocial asshats? Should the Indian and African tribes that killed other tribes give back the lands? Shou...
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  • Brave face
    July 1, 2020
    2 in one day.. I hate me, I have for years. I have a vision of what I want to be and I strive to be that, but keep running into walls. I work in a retail type of industry and I have learned to fake happiness.¬† I pleasantly greet people with all the fake…
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