Recent Entries

• 7/2/22

  July 2, 2022

  Well here we are again. A holiday weekend alone. I'm sitting here at the ghetto I live in watching the families across the way playing and gathering. Cooking out and laughing and here I sit watching like some weird creepy. The boys are out over to their Aunt's property, all having a "family" week...

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• Forgotten

  July 1, 2022

  Aside from the few of you that respond to the endless hopeless posts, I've been forgotten. I get the occasional message from my oldest, but that's it. I haven't heard from anyone going on 6 months now. The messages i left and sent never have been answered. This will be another lonely holiday week...

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• Acceptance

  July 1, 2022

  I've started to resign myself to the fact that I am here to help others find their true happiness. As for mine, I believe it isn't meant to be. I'm like that water cooler jug, every cup someone takes to quench their thirst is one cup less in me. I'm swirling on the edge of…

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• Lost

  June 28, 2022

  I'm having a hard time right now, what else is new. I know I have lost all credibility as a father and a husband to my ex. I mean, I don't know what she expected me to do with all this. She knew me better than anyone and she knew this would do what it…

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• Cleaning after rant

  June 26, 2022

  So I put all the psychotic thoughts from my earlier entry into cleaning and organizing my place. I hate it. There is no possible way of organizing it that makes it feel like home. No amount of pictures or stuff makes this place comfortable. ]

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• Feelings

  June 26, 2022

  It's about 75 today and I'm sitting outside on the 3' pad that I guess you can call a deck. I've spilt my coffee already and I'm uncomfortable, because I always am. But it's the coffee that set me off. It's just one more thing that poked the sleeping lion. There is a part of…

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• Another bad dream morning

  June 26, 2022

  Sleep used to be my only escape from my shit life and now I don't even have that.  Everything in my life has become like trying to hold onto water with a paper towel. My finances are out of control, no matter what I have cut back on and given up. My mental state is…

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• Dinner

  June 25, 2022

  My graduate, Jonathan,  surprised me today, by stopping by with his aunt and insisted I go with them. I knew right off the bat that this was his idea and my sister was to involved not to get out of it once she knew I was part of it. So she put on her "creative…

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• Pretty People Problems

  June 25, 2022

  I wish I had pretty people problems. I know I sound like an asshole, but really, pretty people are never really alone unless they chose it. Who doesn't want a pretty person to notice them. Whether it's helping them or just approaching them with a greeting or compliment. The fact that a pretty per...

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