Recent Entries

• And just like that….

  November 12, 2023

  The boys are gone again. Everytime I leave them or they get picked up it tears my soul up.

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• Not at home at home anymore

  November 12, 2023

  It's funny how my hometown has turned into her hometown. People don't know me, but know her through my kids. "You're Patty's boys" or " You're Ed's stepsons" is all I hear when I'm out with my children. They don't care if I'm my kid's father. They don't care if I was born and raised…

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• Another lonely night

  November 4, 2023

  I finally have a weekend off and the boys are busy. Work has torn me up but I would rather be there. I had forgotten what it's like to be so alone when all I had was work and sleep. I'm hurting so bad for some companionship I am considering calling the help line.  

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• Concert

  October 18, 2023

  Well today is the first concert for my second born. God it's awkward. Having to stare at her and him for the 10, 20 minutes before it starts.  I just can't believe she left me for this schulb. I mean wtf. Fuck it  

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• Thai food

  October 12, 2023

  I'm sitting at the Thai restaurant me and Patty used to go for the first time in almost 5 years.  Alone of course.  Just had a craving. Don't think she comes here with him. Wish I could talk to her about how they re-did this place. It's even more amazing then it was then. Well…

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• Lonely night

  October 8, 2023

  So here I am sitting at the local restaurant alone, again. There's a waitress I am obsessed with but will never catch her attention. Scary thing is, I'm getting used to life this way. Work, sleep, work, and sleep. Nothing inbetween, no fun, no friends, and no family. Now I did have the boys earli...

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• It’s back

  October 4, 2023

  So I've done all that I can to move on, forget, and live, but my circumstances keep coming back to the same old sad lonely not good enough to be a family man loser. I've become vindictive and mean in my thoughts on strangers. I see an old woman and all I can think is…

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• Broken

  September 22, 2023

  OK so maybe I'm not broken, but my body sure is. My knees have gotten to a point it's torture to stand, sit, or even lay down.  Nothing seams to work and I can't get surgery anytime soon. My vision has gone down hill and I never seem to sleep enough. This is where I…

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• What my life has become

  September 16, 2023

  I hate what my life's become. The only thing I have to turn to is a web site. No close friends, no close family. Can't talk to my sons about my sadness. Got a job that will burn me out in about 2 weeks. No one cares. My employees see me throwing myself into saving…

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