Recent Entries

• The typical Sunday blahs

  September 8, 2024

  Spent the day with my 2 youngest boys, but just like that the days over, they're back home, I'm dying here wishing I had more time. It's like picking a scab and the wound won't heal and won't heal right. A nasty scar sits there to constantly remind you of the wound. They live the…

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• Who I am right now

  September 6, 2024

  I'm 53 years old, bald, and overweight. I'm on social service because I had a mental breakdown due to burnout in a job where I was making the most I had ever made. My rent is now 2 months behind and I can't get SS help because I don't have a job. I have no…

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• Loneliness (again)

  September 6, 2024

  Tonight is hard. I'm lonely and depressed. I have no money to go out and find a crowd or at least sit at a counter with coffee. And of course I am missing my family. I've messed my life up so badly...

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• The big let down

  September 4, 2024

  Today is the kids first day back to school. I got the standard pics from Patty, but I miss being there for them. I can't believe I'm going to say this but I wish I had a better "divorced" relationship with her. I want to be there with my kids not this whenever we can…

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• It came to that

  September 3, 2024

  Well I used to have a PS5, just sold it today to have money in the account for bills. What have I become? What have they made me? This all fell to pieces when I was forced from my store into another then another and then once more. On paper it sounds as though I…

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• Twelve years

  August 30, 2024

  It's been 12 years since I lost my daughter. She had just turned a page too. I had talked to her for the first time in about a month on the day of the seizure that took her. She was so hopeful, so ready to turn over a new leaf. I'm not sure what to…

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• Alone

  August 29, 2024

  Out of the last almost 6 years I have never felt more alone as I do recently.aybe because the mental issues, IDK. I don't contemplate suicidal thoughts because at the end of the day it would be one of my kids finding me. I still wouldn't mind not waking up, but some messy horrible things,…

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• Missed interview

  August 28, 2024

  I had an interview today, I missed it. I'm depressed and anxious and well frankly stupid. Buy that's the thing with my depression and anxiety, it's out of control, it's going to put me out on the street. Here's hoping I don't flake and miss tomorrows interview, at least that's a phone one and I&h...

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• My break down

  August 23, 2024

  I'm not sure how to explain my break down other than it was a long time coming. I was actually quite comfortable with the job having fought hard for almost a year to get my store working how I needed to. Then in an instant it was over. Someone had said I harassed them and…

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