Schizo

Dear Jesus,

right now I’m finally in my favorite place in the whole entire world…my bed. And only my bed. Not any bed. Don’t care how expensive the mattress or soft the sheets or however the conditions are…if it ain’t my bed…it will never be a peaceful deep rest. I pray that you will change this for me in Jesus name.
I need help. I am screaming it all the time now. Involuntarily. I don’t think I’ve noticed how much I say it until I’m around someone for over a period of 45 min…sometimes way sooner. I just can’t keep it in. I scream: HEEEELLLLLLLPPPPP!!!!!!
over and over and over.

Today I get a facial. It’s my favorite peel. I pray that my skin rejuvenates. I pray that this ugly new dark spot on my cheek goes away. I pray that the esthetician does a great job!

I’m in the waiting room for my facial now while simultaneously waiting for my phone to ring…I’m waiting for the pharmacy to call me back.

im full of cortisol right now. The only thing that can heal me is not leaving my bed for two days, drinking tea, getting a massage, not smoking, and working out while going back on that Unimeal app. Back to food prison. Only eating in an 8 hour window. And the food has to be things like salmon, broccoli, salad …yep-this is my new life now. I’m going to start now so by the time Tuesday comes, my skin will be clear and my body will be slim but …getting my facial now.

then I’m getting Dennys, then going to return safely home…in Jesus name. Amen