Anger

Lately I’ve become angry about it all.

Why was it, is it, that I’m the bad guy in the divorce? Seriously, she plotted, planned, lied, cheated, yet I have and still am being treated as though it was all me. The mutual “friends” who accepted her and him days later. The friends and family that just never showed me an ounce of support. Even sometimes, the boys lack of interest in me…

I hate that I struggle, even though I’m putting in the effort. Four the last 5 years, I’ve put in the effort. Diets, self help, pills, on and on. Yet, here I am with maybe $20 to my name until next Friday. No extra money for food because God willing, I can make it to work for several days on a tank of gas.

Its nice to sit back and say, ” my major bills are paid” only to be reminded by aches, pains, and stomach growls that you still don’t have enough.

She gets her child support each week though.

I’m responsible for my kids, I pay support, but the fucked up thing that I’m sure other men in my position feel is this:

I was doing what I should, what’s expected in a marriage. I shared responsibility of the kids, house, chores. She does what she does, gets all the security, equity, the house, the better car, everything, all the while having another there giving support and extra income. A man who knew full well the situation and gladly fucked over a honest man life’s effort for himself.

And I am the one suffering to survive.

And now the not so PC thoughts.

Get EBT for food. Nope. I’m a single white male who it does not matter that my income doesn’t match out go.

Other help? Yeah right.

We all have problems. I’m sure I’m not the only alone decent guy out there who is other people’s punching bag.

I feel as though it’s ok to “beat me down and step all over me” all the while I am an asshole if I make any mention of it.