August 22nd, 2025

Things with S are strange, shes distressed, but closed off to me. It leaves me standing in this weird space. Still under the same roof, but not really together anymore. I feel the coldness, and it stings…

I’m sad, yes. But alongside that sadness there is a tug forward, this longing for the new life thats waiting for me. Not here yet, but I can sense it gathering.

Tomorrow I’ll go to L. She insists I be there for breakfast on Sunday before we all go to the beach, me, her, her husband, the kids. It feels like she’s pulling me in, making sure I’m cared for, making sure I don’t disappear into my own silence. I’ll be sleeping on the couch, which I actually love, it feels real, unpolished, like the old days when we were roommates.

There is warmth there, and I know I need it. Simple things like coffee in the morning, kids buzzing around, sea air on my skin. It feels like a glimpse of what’s ahead.

The future isn’t just about endings, its a new mornings, new rhythms. Right now, I’m in between.

But when time comes, I  want to tell what it is am moving towards to. What I’m waiting to create…