my thoughts are as volatile as alcohol
and so is my existence
the day I go under there wont even be
a ripple on the pond to remind you of me

Latest Entry

Solice

July 5, 2024
Today was different. I woke up to the familiar hum of the city outside my window. No grand revelations, no nothing, just the everyday things. And it was enough. This morning, I found myself in the park, sitting on a bench beneath a tree. Its leaves whispered secrets of countless seasons. People w...
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Recent Entries

  • Echoes of Absence
    June 21, 2024
    Every time I come here, it looks like a wasteland... Just no BEETHOVEN anywhere around...   no BEETHOVEN BEETHOVEN beethoven beethovn beethov ho ebt eeb e e e   am i the only one ? why is it so much to ask for ?? cant we just give the damn mushrooms some fucking   BEETHOVEN  ???!!!!&hel...
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  • Moonlight sonata
    June 14, 2024
    This evening, I lay on the couch, listening to Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata on my headphones, when God came down and touched me… And it felt so… incredibly good… so good so good   but now i turn to you, my beloved friend, and as i hold you by the shoulder, i cannot tell you. i…
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  • Where would you like to be in 5 years
    June 7, 2024
    Where would you like to be in 5 years from today? In five years, I hope to be here... And as I touch my face, my skin feels soft... The form and texture, I enjoy touching... Also, being touched, softly on my face, is surprisingly pleasant.... Before I continue, what i do is perfectly legal…
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  • Placeholder
    April 26, 2024
    There is something I want to say, not now, not today... I just feel so far away, drifting of. The reoccurring memory of my youth, sun setting in the laboratory of my father, the afternoon sun reflecting of the flasks... Could my life have been better? I miss the life I had.
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  • you
    February 23, 2024
    I miss you terribly, babba.  My heart longs for you!
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  • my best friend
    February 9, 2024
    A somber veil shrouds my heart, because for you my friend, our journey together ends here today. My heat is broken. You embraced life with such joy that I wanted nothing more than for you than to have it. Lying quietly there on the back seat now, motionless, our final trip together. Always fearfu...
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  • Getting there
    January 12, 2024
    Have not quit my job yet, still in negotiations. I am sad to have disappointed you, but even more so, to have disappointed myself :-(. But today, I feel so good! It feels like, it feels like I am floating on top of a little tiny soft white cloud... It just feels so so incredibly…
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  • A note to myself
    January 2, 2024
    This is 2024. It will be a good year. I am going to quit my job, and next time I am here, I will tell you that! Throwing all caution to the wind, hell yeah, Fuck all!!! This is 2024!!!!!
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  • Dislectics untie
    November 17, 2023
    I am dislectic. Dislectics unite. Had no lerning disabilty so I flew under the radar for quite some time, I guess. But the signs are  so overwelming, cant belive, I ignored them for so long. There was these milion sighns showing it.
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