my thoughts are as volatile as alcohol
and so is my existence
the day I go under there wont even be
a ripple on the pond to remind you of me

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  • Done
    November 20, 2020
    Covid rule, not everyone is allowed going along into the hospital anymore. When finally she apped me: "Done, everything fine". I replied right away: "Okay great! I will meet you at the front entrance".  I did not allow myself to assume right away that "fine" meant she checked out clean. Then, whe...
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  • Things
    October 22, 2020
    Yesterday it was cloudy, I fiddled with the filters of the camera of my phone but I just could not get the shot. I swipe again through the pictures today searching for it. The brick house with the balcony looking onto the garden from across a little brick road a channel reflecting the old oak&hel...
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  • My Friend
    August 27, 2020
    I am sad to tell you my mother passed away early this morning. My best friend, the person whom I had known the longest in the whole world is gone now. I wish it was only my heart that was shattered, shattered into tiny pieces. So if I dont see ya again, good afternoon, good evening and…
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  • Where is my cookie ?!!
    August 21, 2020
    I look back, about a year ago, I had this urge to write. It feels like a lifetime ago. Being myself, a meager man with no real connections to this world and never contributed to anything at large, or even in my community, I feel selfish taking any time from you. But this is a…
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  • If it is not too much to ask
    July 30, 2020
    My mother is dying, she is fighting for her life, covid. I want to say all we can do now is hope and pray but I dont know who is praying these days anymore . So if is not to much, can I just ask for your hope and positive vibes instead? My mother means…
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  • Zie, Sie, Ey, Ve, Tey or E?
    July 24, 2020
    Just a little post tonight. We were walking outside, the two of us and the dogs. A beautiful day with fields of green and blue skies speckled with little white clouds. On a bench overlooking water there was a placard of copper. It read like an obituary, or maybe just my expectation. It read rough...
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  • Chapter 2: Growing Up
    June 19, 2020
    I grew up in a house with two sisters and three Carpenter CDs ;-p https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dcLbS0yxzdk&list=RDdcLbS0yxzdk&index=1 Need I say more?  
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  • Colour revolution
    June 5, 2020
    I had the red pill. Did not turn out to well for me, had a lot of side effects. After a second opinion I switched to blue. Now, I feel much better. It is the ultimate battle between emotion and reason. But it turns out blue trumps red, always! I take the blue pill now,…
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  • Its 10pm
    May 23, 2020
    I usually send you an email when the first leave buts blossom. This year I dont think I did, did I? I did thought of you though, because I know by myself how I always wait for the first green leaves every year, and how it reminds me of you. The leaves on the tall trees in the…
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