my thoughts are as volatile as alcohol
and so is my existence
the day I go under there wont even be
a ripple on the pond to remind you of me

Latest Entry

A Beautiful Afternoon

May 11, 2025
I look outside and see sunlit green leaves silhouetted against a beautiful blue summer sky. They drift gently in the breeze, just beyond the window. And as they move, a quiet loneliness washes over me. It’s a beautiful afternoon, still, full of light and feeling. One of those lazy Sundays that ma...
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Recent Entries

  • Its my birthday
    May 2, 2025
    GF only back later... so i treated my self to some shrooms... am i allowed to say it in here? is this beautiful, or am i tripping? its hard for me to tell what is real and what is not...
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  • When Did We Stop Asking Why?
    April 11, 2025
    As kids, we dreamed of reshaping the world, our hearts filled with questions and defiance. But somewhere along the way, we grew older, quieter. Our minds tangled in the endless loop of narratives spoon-fed to us. Now, when I ask, "Why do you believe this?" or "Where’s the evidence?" I’m met with ...
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  • Useful Idiots
    March 21, 2025
    Modern pro-war propaganda is slick as hell. They don’t need posters of Uncle Sam anymore, they’ve got influencers, emotionally manipulative content, heroic narratives, and simplified good-vs-evil stories pumped straight into your dopamine feed. People swallow it whole. Suddenly, folks who couldn’...
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  • Grace
    March 13, 2025
    Grace, I miss you. Are you okay? I ask this not out of habit, but from the deepest corners of my heart. Are you okay? The world feels vast without you, empty in all the wrong places. Wherever you are, whatever you’re facing, may the winds be kind, may time not forget you. Godspeed, yours…
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  • How did I know it all along?
    March 7, 2025
    Sibelius bagatelles op.97 no 2   Some things so beautiful, in life... Where can I share the trip?
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  • Chasing the Demon
    February 21, 2025
    One day, the song that consumed your soul suddenly feels like nothing. Like all the magic bled out of it overnight. It’s not even a gradual fade, it’s just done. And that void, that restless, itching feeling? That's what drives you to find the next one. You don’t just enjoy music, you chase it. Y...
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  • This is what it all was for
    February 7, 2025
    This is what it all was for. Third door on the left, if you dare… This was ten years of my life. So hit me. Hard. Put me down on the curb. Make me need to get up again.
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  • How Much Retro is Too Much?
    December 29, 2024
    How much retro is too much? For me, I crank the dial up until my eyes hurt, then turn it down a notch. That’s the sweet spot. Retro’s magic is in its excess, but the key is knowing when to stop. Just enough to make you smile. I want to be irresponsible, charge through life…
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  • Finally
    November 29, 2024
    Dear <bos>, Please accept this as my formal resignation. Thank you for the opportunities. Best, <me> ... Send! It feels SOOO GOD DAMN GOOOOD, walking away. The horizon ahead is mine, and for the first time in forever, the air tastes electric again.
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