Sometimes Life is funny like that

You know today on facebook I read a thing that said,” Imagine reading a book with no way to turn back the page. How carefully would you read it? That’s life.”

Its crazy to think that just a month ago I saw life completely different. They say when you go through something traumatic it stays with you. I think this is going to be something that stays with my family forever.  My husband was involved in an explosion and they were unable to find him for four hours. My entire life for those four hours was on hold, my mind was all all over the place and my heart felt like it was going to never beat again. The ground beneath me felt like it completely fell apart and I was never going to be on stable ground again.

By the time I called again to find out if anyone had any word on my husband I was being told they found him and he was stable. Hearing his voice for the first time since being told he was missing, I felt like everything jump started inside me.

Nothing could have ever prepared me for seeing him that night in the hospital though, he didn’t even look like him self and my heart shattered. There was nothing I was going to say or do that would make anything any better. I couldn’t do anything but stair at him and be thankful he was alive. I knew it wasn’t going to be an easy journey and the whole thing was going to flip our lives upside down. I had to figure out how I was going to explain to our three children that their dad was hurt and he wasn’t going to be home for awhile.

If you would have asked me prior to all of this happening what I would have done I probably would have told you I wouldn’t have known what to do and that I would have just fallen apart. Truth is though there are times I have no idea what I’m doing and I’m just winging it and hoping for the best. I’ve done so many things I probably would have never done before and the truth is when people ask me how I do it my answer is very simple. I do it because I love my husband and he means the world to me.

None of this is easy on any of us, especially my husband who had been through so much but continues to work on getting better so he can come home to us. I don’t know exactly what the outcome is going to be and I’m not sure how things are going to work but I know this, we will figure it out and whatever our new normal will be it will be okay in its own way.