Free Money, Yes Please

We got a surgery date! Its March 25th, he had me go into his appointment with him today so I could talk to her and get everything figured out. She talked me through the surgery and the risks. He will have to spend the night after the surgery to make sure they dont injure any organs. They said most specifically the esophagus. She said if they injured it he would know within 24 hours and that’s the most dangerous complication. I am anxious but I am glad we finally have a date. She asked if he wanted to lose more weight for 6 months before the surgery and he said no he didn’t want to wait. He did lose 23 pounds since December 11th. That’s pretty good. I am nervous about getting the house ready for graduation parties and the pool open and everything but I think we will get it done. I will try my hardest. He cant lift anything over 10 pounds for 6 weeks after. He also cant eat anything solid for at least 3 weeks, some foods he cant have until 6 weeks after. Its gonna be a journey but we got this. I will do everything single handedly if it means he comes home healthy.

I got a random check from Illinois. Its overpayment from 2022 taxes. If they want to find me more money they are more than welcome to. I used some of it to pay off my Affirm and then I am taking Jeff and I out to lunch at a place that just opened. I really want Chinese but I wanted to try this place too. I might cave and get Chinese because I am Audhd and new things aren’t as fun as the tried and true. Maybe I will wait til Friday and we will go to Rockford to Chinese, Chloe and Deacon would be with us, but maybe we will. I have time to decide.

I slept for 3 and a half hours today, so clearly the Risperidone is still kicking my ass. It was a good nap though. I fell asleep watching Kai-Lan (a kids show from like 2009) and woke up to Yo Gabba Gabba. Ty stood up on his own in his pack and play today, he’s been doing it all day, he thinks he’s the coolest kid every being able to stand. Now he’s trying to bounce while standing and not holding on to anything. He’s growing up too fast.

I ordered my marriage certificate because the one I have right now is attached to my marriage license and it says void after 30 days so Illinois wont accept it for my REAL drivers license. I am also researching on if I can get my name changed on my birth certificate because I don’t want to be a Stevens anymore and I am worried about not having a birth certificate that matches my married name with this voting shit they’re trying to pull. Someone told me she changed her Wisconsin Birth Certificate to her married name so I just need to do some digging. I should get a passport but right now thats money I don’t really have.

Emotionally I am doing well, I am feeling out of the funk, despite being exhausted and napping all day I don’t *feel* the weight of my emotions/depression/anxiety/whatever. I feel better. Sometimes I like I like mania, or even depression. Its “normal” for me. Being so sad I cant move some how sounds good? I dont know, it doesnt make sense.