And so began the nightmare.

So, we didn’t go to Egypt in September because one of our closest family friends was diagnosed with two different types of lymphoma. She survived and we rescheduled our trip for 3 weeks in February/March of 2024. It was an incredible trip.

Then, in July my mom had a bit of a car accident in a parking lot because she was distracted with stomach pain. And so began the nightmare.

That weekend we ended up going to emerg to see about getting her help for her stomach pain. We were there for 12 hours, overnight. In the morning they finally said “good news, you’re not having pancreatitis or a blockage. bad news, you’re having a heart attack”. They sent us via ambulance immediately to another hospital where specialists could do a stent immediately. As they were ushering us out the door, the doctor said “oh btw, there’s also a couple of spots on her lung that they’ll probably need to look into more”.

Contrary to assumptions at the time: Stent, no problem. Spots, big problem. Likely lung cancer.

Many tests. Much waiting. (Mom’s) Sister 1 admitted to hospital with pneumonia and potentially sepsis. (Mom’s) Sister 2 admitted to hospital with heart failure, etc etc. Both survive. Withholding half-informations from siblings and families while all this is going on. Long story short – definitely lung cancer. Stage 4. Inoperable. Incurable. Optimistic potential to enable an okay quality of life for a period of time.

So, 5 radiation. 2 chemos.

Septicemia, pancreatitis, shingles on top of all else.
Recovery.

Christmas.
New Years Eve.
Severe increase in pain.
5 more radiations.
DNR.

One random morning… gone.
Not disappeared – found gone.

I feel sick writing just that brief overview. I think I’ve been doing pretty well since, TBH, now that all the stress is over. But revisiting it.. maybe I’m not ready for that yet.

ugh

Anyway, my intention when I came on here was not to write about this but I felt I needed to update the situation from the time of my last post.

Instead I wanted to start writing my life story I guess… my thoughts and impressions of life and my family members… my thoughts about what I’d have done parenting-wise if we’d had kids… cuz after travelling to Egypt with my husband who has many idiosyncrasies when not travelling and my mother who had many health issues to worry about and then dealing with her care near the end – thank FUCK we did not have children during that and, maybe, perhaps, I don’t -WANT- to have to worry about kids at my age when most of my peers are being gifted grandchildren… and with my own health issues that may be exacerbated… sigh…

And now I’m tired.

Maybe I’ll be back before too long has passed.