damn
My stalker friend K called me today and I knew as soon as I heard her voice on the machine (we screen our calls) what was up.
Damn.
It seems I am to be a maid of honour in the not-too-distant future. In, perhaps, about a year’s time. September of 2010, tentatively.
She’s agreed to marry that nitwit.
Damn.
Damn him all to hell.
Now the pressure is on to lose weight. I don’t want to be a heaving cow in HER pictures especially because I have no control over who she shows them too. And there are plenty of people she’s still friendly with whom I don’t want to have the slightest inkling about me whatsoever – skinny or not. Oddly, that is more of a driving force than my own impending – if still of uncertain timing – nuptials.
Still I think that this might be good. We will be able to do wedding things together. Attend bridal shows, look for dresses (UGH), work on favors, etc etc etc. Maybe I can help her NOT spend so much money…
I think August of next year might work for us and that would work timing-wise for weight loss… Flights to SA (and accommodations within) will be expensive leading up to the World Cup Soccer tourny and we might get some good deals afterward… BF will have time to work while school is out from May – July, hopefully coming up with the extra money to fund an August away.
Anyway, I did my earnest best to be happy for her and congratulatory and excited. It was hard damn work. But she’s made her bed now, she’s going to have to lie in it. I doubt very highly that this relationship will last forever for her but there’s nothing I can do. I have said everything to her besides outright telling her I *HATE* the guy (which simply would put her on the defensive and not be at all helpful to the situation). I guess it’s time for me to suck it up. And suck it up I did. I demanded to know all the details of the proposal and a description of the ring. blah blah blah. I was a good maid of honour. I haven’t officially been asked to be MoH yet but I am assuming from all of our previous conversations about our wedding parties and…
I was touched that I was the very first person she told. It happened at about 2am this morning and her mother works today – so I was available I guess LOL no, j/k. They’re going to see her mom after work tonight. Apparently he asked her dad for her hand. I’m sure her dad said something offhanded like "sure". He’s not the sentimental – or even SANE – type.
In a way it was good to talk to her today. There were a few pauses where I didn’t quite know what to say. *I* found them awkward but I don’t think she did. I do miss my friend. But she isn’t quite the same friend anymore…
So the situation presented itself today to tell her that we are moving back to Ottawa. I have been withholding that information, fearful of the next level of stalking I might have to endure. I had selfishly thought to not tell her anything but, once we were settled, show up at her house with the announcement as a "surprise". I gave her an engagement present instead. She was excited.
I guess I’ll have to pump myself up to be excited for wedding stuff in general eh? Try to forget about the specifics of this particular coupling? or at least one half of it…
She did mention something about eloping that I was enthusiastic to hear, though I doubt it will happen. They both are fairly shy people so the wedding will definitely be small (ie, 40 people max) at least.
I guess I will have to start thinking about a bridal shower… now, THAT’s exciting! I wonder if I’m obliged to throw them an engagement party? or if they will want a stag and doe? I wonder if we could throw a JOINT stag and doe…? oh god, definitely NOT if she intends to invite people I would rather not ever lay eyes on again. I guess we shall see. This seems to feel right, though – that we will plan our weddings together… weird.
Today I am grateful…
* that K hasn’t given up on me, even if I’m not sure whether or not I want her too
* that K is happy (I hope)
* that I was able to fake excitement as well as I did
* that my company is gone and I can finally get started on the serious business of ripping this house apart to get ready to MOVE