sleeeeeep

I’m at work- slow day today which is making me really sleepy. There is an awards dinner tonight that I have to go to; i have to speak about the 4 people we nominated. The cocktail party is at 5:30 and I need to be there right then. So Paul is home from work today waiting on me, but I will be here at this dinner unil at least 7:30 I’m guessing. Oh well- I wanted to do it, I volounteered myself over Denise, and now its biting me in the ass because its on a night I would rather be home with Paul. I’m a little excited still, anyway.

I’m so friggin tired- I haven’t been letting myself get enough sleep lately. When I’m not at work, I like to sieze every moment I can to do what I want, and be with Paul. So I stay up until 2:30ish and wake up before 9. Its not that bad, hour wise, but my body loves 8 hours of sleep and I can feel anything less take its toll on me. Plus I am PMSing, which means I am sluggish, FAT, lethargic, in pain, FAT, angry, and sore all over. It will pass. I can’t wait until it does.

Sometimes lately I feel like a slacker. Like i’m ruining it for myself by being so easy on the staff. I don’t care if they nibble on stuff in the kitchen, I never have. Its a RULE and I don’t make them follow it. Thats probably bad, but I think the rule is stupid, especially when we’re slow. Chris today was eating yogurt out of a cup in the kitchen, right in front of the line. But the Chef was standing next to him, on the same side of the line, talking and reading the newspaper. Its just that kind of atmosphere on slow days. On busy days it is too, but no one has time for any half-assing. I hope I am doing the right thing. I do, however, remind myself that I am out of here in less than 5 months, never to be seen again at the Greenbrier. But that shouldnt be an excuse. I work hard, most days, but days like this (and yesterday) especially when I don’t feel good and I’m tired, I tend to do everything that needs to get done without going above and beyond on anything. I hate that mindset but its only once and a while. I feel bad when I do it, but some days you just can’t help it, RIGHT!? I did everything on my checklist today, except one thing which I am saving for tomorrow…my staff can tell that I’m not being strict or real, whats the word, picky today. They can tell i’m in whatever mode. But tomorrow its friday and I will defiantely work harder tomorrow.

I should go…BLAH i need a vacation!