Goals left unmarked…

Only two more weeks of summer vacation and then back to work. This is the first year I’m not looking forward (at least even a little bit) to going back. I’m really looking forward to trying to change my focus area to media specialist as opposed to reading teacher. I need a break.

I feel as though I’ve been taken out and beaten by this summer. In one sense, it will be a relief to get back to work. I had a list of things I wanted to accomplish that I haven’t.

1. Move into the new house and totally unpack. (Parts of this were accomplished but there are still boxes)

2. Paint all the rooms. (Not quite. We only painted two. For some reason my HGTV version of how fun painting would be fizzled out)

3. Visit with family. (Went home for a funeral. Didn’t have time to visit at all)

4. Finish the Europe vacation scrapbbook. (Total pages finished– 0)

5. And my favorite goal, the one closest to my heart. Become pregnant. After all, then I could spend the first month or two at home relaxing and not having to deal with the stressed life of a teacher. I would just focus on growing a baby. (This didn’t work out either. Rich’s back was so bad last month that he couldn’ t move, much less try to have a baby. This month we did try. I feel like it’s a possiblity that I could be pregnant. When I was charting my temperatures, it looked like I ovulated at a certain time, but when I took an ovulation predictor kit later in the week, it was still reading positive. At 5 days post ovulation, it still read positive. A sign of pregnancy? My temperatures spiked as well and my boobs (sorry, TMI) are sore. I feel as though I am pregnant. I don’t want to take an HPT because I’m sure it wouldn’t read positive right now and the negative I would see would destroy me. I’m also afraid that it might turn out to be a chemical pregnancy. I hope, I hope, I hope…But I don’t want to get my hopes up too much.)

I feel like my grandma is helping me to conceive. Is that strange? I feel like her love from beyond is going to gift us with our first child. So much sadness can be turned to joy.