My life. Now.

Wow. How long has it been? It isn’t that I haven’t wanted to write here. I guess it is mainly two things. One. I don’t want to say that "yes, I am definitely going to be a good diarist and write every day!!" Because I know I can’t live up to that the way my life is now. The other thing is I am too, too, too busy. My days fly by.

Basically I get up at 5:00 a.m. every day and am out the door by 6:00 a.m. At school by 6:20 a.m. Dealing with students all day until 2:50. Come home and PRAY that Alex is taking her nap so I have an hour to do laundry, dishes, clean up the house a bit. Then Alex wakes up and it’s play time for an hour or so, time to make dinner, time to do dinner dishes, play and walk time, bath time for Alex, an hour before she sleeps which is wind down time and then by 9:30 I’m asleep.

That’s my life now. It’s like being a homemaker, a teacher and a mom wrapped into one. I do love it at times (not the teaching part…that should be an entire ten entries in one). At times I feel like I want to sneak away to a room by the ocean and read and be by myself for a minute.

Alex is now 16 months old. She walks and is into everything. I’ve heard a million times that you never really know how to love until you love a child that is your own. I do love her more than anything. She’s the joy in my life. We are thinking about another one. I guess that’s stressful as well. The whole process. I’m not near as fertile as I was before. I feel like before I would decide that I wanted to be pregnant and I would be. Aside from the miscarriages. It’s not like that anymore. We’ve "tried" for a few months with no luck. And I honestly think that I need to get "me" together first. I feel like I’ve let myself fall apart since Alex. I’ve been taking care of her and not myself.

So life does go on.

I’ve missed being here.