Recent Entries

• Future Schematics

  February 1, 2023

  I reorganized my home office over the past couple of days. I've been reluctant to do it for a while even though it has become necessary -- I had too many pieces of furniture, too many books, too many stacks of things piled up on all free surfaces. Example:  A month ago I got this…

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• Smoke Sticks and The Last of Us

  January 31, 2023

  My oil bill was nine hundred and fifty dollars last month.  We don't have a gas line on our street so your options as a homeowner for heat are as follows:  Oil, oil and oil.  It wasn't even all that cold during this period of time, temperatures mostly in the upper 30s, lower forties, above…

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• Therapy

  January 28, 2023

    I can't seem to write late in the day.  My thoughts get scrambled by the images and words I've been consuming throughout the hours, leaving me in a state of fullness, the mental equivalent of eating an enormous meal that leaves you lethargic, logy.  I want to push some of this stuff out, t...

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• Lack of Imagination 2

  January 26, 2023

    I'm still waking up almost every night around 3AM to the sound of my own thoughts humming in the engine of my brain.  It's the one major side effect to the Lexapro that I experience -- this hour of nightly insomnia.  My brain spins for an hour and then finally seems to relent, allowing&hel...

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• Science Baby 6, Covid

  January 25, 2023

  Jennie woke up this morning mad at everything. It's hard to hear my own voice inside when I know she's angry.  What I want to do is figure out what is making her mad and fix it so she can be okay again. Over breakfast I was finally able to get her to tell me…

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• Dreams, Covid, and Incomprehensible Modern Tasks

  January 24, 2023

  My grandfather had an enormous sprawling house in a seaside town in Connecticut that I used to visit during the summer when I was very young. He's been dead forever now -- he expired twenty five years ago, 1998, from, technically, a cardiac arrest, but nontechnically it was his depression and eve...

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• Closet painting

  January 20, 2023

  Yesterday I had a guy come over and put bifold closet doors up in our spare bedroom.  He arrived, of course, while I was on a meeting for work, and I had to excuse myself for a couple of minutes when the doorbell rang so I could let him in and get him set up. …

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• Science Baby 5

  January 19, 2023

  Jennie and I are starting our 6th round of IVF (In Vitro Fertilization) this coming weekend. We're doing this despite having one viable embryo in the bank, ready to be transferred into her womb, ready to hopefully become a real baby.  The odds of the embryo "taking" and becoming a healthy baby ar...

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• The Wife

  January 18, 2023

  The other day I was thinking about how I use journaling mostly as a way to think about areas of difficulty in my life. Today I am going to spend a few paragraphs to instead talk about something that's going pretty well. I chose the right partner, thank fucking God. I have a very typical…

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