Recent Entries

• Science Baby 12 and A Death in the Family

  September 5, 2023

    J and I have been trying for a kid using IVF (and constantly failing at it) while my Aunt Eva has been in hospice. Yesterday Eva died. Lost consciousness on Saturday, passed Monday. In the midst of life, we are in death, my mom would say when I was growing up and someone in…

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• Science Baby 11

  August 31, 2023

    J will be home in twenty minutes and I’ve finally gotten my work tasks into a decent state and I can write for a bit before I head off to caretake her and begin again the endless nights of support, of don’t worry sweetie you are perfectly normal, of I love you so much,…

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• Post-Therapy

  August 25, 2023

    J didn't go to work today.  She woke up early, 6AM, showered, and went to the doctor to get bloodwork done.  She's pregnant but a certain hormone level is lower than it should be and the clinic is running a test to see if it's coming up.  She got home at 8, said she's…

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• Breathing Room

  August 24, 2023

      J gets home from work yesterday and asks me about the bee sting.  I went out at noon for a walk and half a block away from my house I felt something hit me under my left eye, so hard I thought it was a pebble.  Instinctively I closed my eyes, grabbed at…

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• Science Baby 10, My Sick Mother

  August 22, 2023

  Today is a day I should be happy but I am not. Yesterday J took a pregnancy test.  She wasn't supposed to.  We were supposed to wait until tomorrow, as per instructions from the clinic. (i don't want to write about this i don't want to you need to you need to says my inner voice) During the…

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• Pre-Therapy

  August 18, 2023

  Suppressing the urge to do work.  I can already feel the obligations and tasks press in on me.  Open a ticket with vendor to work on problem X.  Send updates to management on project Y -- I was unable to do this yesterday.  Investigate high availability with Multi Factor Authentication in our Shi...

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• Science Baby 9

  August 15, 2023

    Back from the IVF clinic.  Wife J asleep on the couch as Mystery Science Theater's Rock N' Roll Nightmare plays on the television, a ridiculous 1985 movie starring actors nobody has heard of playing zombies and teenagers.  There is plenty of murder but no discernible plot.  J likes terribl...

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• Science Baby 8

  August 9, 2023

    Embryo Transfer.  Next Monday at noon.  A little glob of cells, part me and part her, unfrozen, stuck into her lady place with some medical instrument resembling a titanium dick with a miniature cockpit ejection seat to unload the cargo. Us, in a hospital room, hoping. She tells me that we...

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• My Friend B

  March 21, 2023

  So B is getting divorced.  He sent me an email last weekend, from an unrecognized email address, a burner address that his wife doesn't have access to.  My google mail account flagged the message, sent it to spam, and B had to text me "bro did you get my email?"  Which prompted me to check…

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