Recent Entries

• Science Baby Part X

  February 5, 2024

      I feel like I haven't processed anything in forever. I take turns doing shit I need to do and then ignoring the fuck out of everything. When I have free time I don't want to look at my life.  I want to look at someone else's.  I want to turn the dial of…

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• Spaces and Shapes and The IVF Lyfe

  January 18, 2024

  A short list of nonstandard shapes An upper lip that resembles a waterslide at a park, the center section a fast runway down and then a dramatic u-shaped curve at the bottom for launching bodies into the great public pool.  (This is the upper lip I had in my dream last night, a dream in…

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• But what does it mean?

  January 9, 2024

    Last Friday I saw my therapist.  I shared the results of my homework assignment and conveyed some good moments and experiences from the past week.  He made the observation that most of the good moments were semi-meditative. what do you mean by that you stop straining and start observing st...

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• Therapy Homework Worksheet

  January 5, 2024

  Last week my therapist asked me to try to focus on good things in my life for at least a few minutes of the day.  He wanted to know what I would come up with. My main brain loop looks like this:   while (things_undone = true) // this will be true until I die…

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• On blogging

  January 2, 2024

  My old blog is still up.  I ran a personal finance blog for several years, with the focus on the lifestyle aspects of self-imposed frugality. I wanted to answer the question:  What happens to your life when you aren't spending as much as your peers? I lived out the answer.  Which turned out to be...

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• End of Year Assessment

  December 29, 2023

    J wonders how other peoples' lives seem so much easier than ours. They're not, I tell her.  Everyone thinks they have it worst.   I don't know that anyone has it as bad as I do, she says.  I have demented parents who need a lot of care.  I have a service job at the library that…

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• changes

  December 28, 2023

  The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. This is something I say, and believe. My past behavior is.  All sorts of things.  Sometimes consistent.  Sometimes inconsistent.  But when I am inconsistent I am consistent about it.  I am not making a joke when I say this.  What I mean is: ...

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• things and activities and presents

  December 20, 2023

  I spent an hour hunting for a keyboard replacement.  For years I used the Logitech K800 wireless.  It's breaking down and I need a replacement.  An hour later and I find the Cherry Stream Wired is about the same.  It has a similar "scissors" switch mechanism that allows a low profile on the keys ...

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• the positives

  December 19, 2023

    I think I'm going to stop seeing my therapist. Last week he told me to try focusing on the positives in life. What, I said, like just tell myself that life is good over and over again? Sort of.  Maybe not so much that life is all good, but that there are good things…

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