Latest Entry

Oh oh

November 3, 2021
Thursday, he will be told he needs to get going w child support. The dna test he requested for our daughter,  i hope he rots for that delay,  if he is not already in prison, or the psych ward. I heard he did try to 302 himself. Fuck him. Fuck him for deserting our child…
Continue Reading...

Recent Entries

  • Update
    September 18, 2021
    Still. April. 5 months, no contact. Except... In two weeks, hes finally getting dna tested. When he swore up and down she wasnt his and i was just a whore. Eat his fucking words, i swear. Every damn time, i remember those hateful words to me. And built me up, painted a picture of how…
    Continue Reading...
  • Here
    August 31, 2021
    I didn't forget this place. I just have trouble still processing everything i allowed myself to go thru. And Lilly makes it really hard. I focused too much on him and not on myself. Married, new bike, new clothes, a baby on the way he's happy about but you know what? Its bullshit. And he…
    Continue Reading...
  • Thinking
    August 5, 2021
    Always thinking of him. Our 4 year old makes it almost impossible for me to forget him. So, i saw he went back to the job i insisted he get and watched him fully sabotage. And i actually knew he was gonna do this. So predictable. Nothing about the dna test, yet. But hey, he's…
    Continue Reading...
  • Silence
    July 21, 2021
    So, i know he was homeless,  he lived w his sister, back to homeless again... and now hes living w her. Doing and saying all the same stuff he did w me. Whatever. I cry when my daughter talks about him, which is often but I'm really trying to get over it. Trauma. Narcissistic asshole.…
    Continue Reading...
  • Still nothing
    July 7, 2021
    I did well w my writing and getting rid of his stuff and closure. He still hasn't bothered. We wont see him for the dna test because i don't want my daughter to see him. She finally stopped talking about him constantly but she still is. Im on vacation.  Going home tomorrow...
    Continue Reading...
  • Trying
    June 21, 2021
    I still cry every day, but its not for anything other than my 4 year old missing her father. I guess I mean thats what usually starts it. I took them on vacation.  Im taking them, again. And again. I need distraction and i need to get out of PA. Looking for a beach. Looking…
    Continue Reading...
  • Insanity
    May 25, 2021
    I honestly have no idea whats going on, anymore.  I realize i am addicted to him. I keep reaching out to a silent grave. I torture myself. I know. I miss him, but differently.  I don't want him home. I want him. But not how he acts. I want to see him. I wanted to…
    Continue Reading...
  • I think…
    May 24, 2021
    He moved back home. All them kids? His daughter, his grandson who won't stop talking about lilly. And they don't validate him. They were on my side idk anymore
    Continue Reading...
  • Still nothing
    May 20, 2021
    I'm getting mad about it, too. Again, as long as ge has validation,  he will never need or want, me. And i am so relieved that i don't follow the crowd. I still don't know who she is, exactly. But i have suspicions and if its her, it won't last long.  
    Continue Reading...

Search Entries

  • Use dropdowns or search terms above to find entries.

Chapters