Recent Entries

• The End I Wish For

  August 13, 2023

  The quietness of madness, of sorrow, of otherness. How it spirits you away to a place of silent tears and roaring shame, terror of the future. Is it madness to fear what lies under my medication? To know what’s on the other side? To wonder from time to time? I just want to sob into…

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• A Schizophrenic Lament

  August 11, 2023

  She watches me from every space in my room, corners unseen and places unknown. Eyes trickle like teardrops on my senses, beautiful and confusing. Those long lost voices come again from realms beyond my mind, omnipotent and godly. They come with shouting whispers that fill up my skull, shame and h...

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• Schizophrenia, 2

  July 31, 2023

  I remember when they used to speak to me. Voices that were more like my family than my own family was. Not just cruel, but kind. Much like the Reverend Mother, I both loved and hated them.   I remember when Mother used to guide me. A voice from beyond, visions of brilliance and beauty.…

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• But I’m Such a Perfect Girl

  July 28, 2023

  But I’m such a perfect girl. The way that my illness reminds me to hold all my secrets inside myself, lest someone see something undesirable, is so ladylike.   But I’m such a perfect girl. Feigned purple fairytales and sober nights is what makes up a woman, right?   But I’m such a perfe...

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• Schizophrenia, 1

  July 28, 2023

  I was six when it first started. I remember the brown and white walls of the hospital room, being held down by the nurses as they yelled at you, demanding to know why I was so dehydrated. I stayed quiet, too afraid to tell them that I’d heard a voice telling me the drinks were…

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