Older than I used to be. Online diaries since '00.
Love books, indie music & drawing.
But also other shit like playing games on my phone and Netflix.
Recovering from pretensions. See above.

Latest Entry

little sisters, kidnappers, sleep demons

February 21, 2024
At night I lie in bed, gazing out the window into our small backyard – the scattered remnants of last spring’s garden, various (long dead) potted plants, and the large cypress tree in the southeast corner. Regardless of the hour, the slice of sky I can see never fully darkens but instead remains ...
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Recent Entries

  • sustenance
    February 16, 2024
    Climax never fully materializing, headache blooming at the back of my skull, and the distinct feeling that I was unwell without any idea as to why. Unsettled and in pain. He was initially apologetic but also soon asleep. Left once again, alone with my thoughts - all the things that sneak up at 3 ...
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  • untethered
    January 8, 2024
    The brain, which existed almost completely devoid of creativity throughout November and December, is now in recovery mode. The first week or two of this always feels a bit manic - a flood of ideas and desires that need guidance and pruning. All of it is a means of feeling more truly like myself; ...
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  • 2023 Music
    January 6, 2024
    Early last year I challenged myself to seek out more new music, both from new-to-me artists as well as from artists I already know. The songs and albums listed are in no particular order. I will say that my three favorite albums this 2023 were Feeble Little Horse – Girl with Fish, Angelo De Augus...
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  • january
    January 5, 2024
    I stay in bed when I should be getting up, getting ready for work. Ten minutes. Another fifteen. An hour in total. I am, officially, five minutes into the start of my workday before I even push up out of bed. Eventually, I put on my clothes - a casual dress, cardigan, and flats -…
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  • no good, very bad
    January 1, 2024
    Years and years ago, when we were newlyweds, we had a tight knit group of friends with whom we spent most of our free time. We got together on Sunday evenings to make dinner, drink, and visit. Threw a big party every couple of months. And, of course, we would all spend NYE together. Every…
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  • there are 1440 minutes in a day
    December 28, 2023
    (Originally posted on 12/1) Last night Jo was listening to snippets of lost media songs, immersed in the bittersweet experience of enjoying a creation that has already begun to disappear with time. We discussed it for a bit. Talked about how all media will eventually become lost media. About how ...
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  • the unknown core
    December 28, 2023
    (Originally posted on 12/14) I know what I meant to say, but intention is useless if the words come out wrong. (Which is often the case in the heat of the moment.) And, because I am the worst, I doubled down on the sentiment after the cooling-off period. Unintentionally, of course. So now, as I&h...
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  • a joke
    December 28, 2023
    the fear of what we do not know extends not just to the large but also the small, like - i am scared of poetry, mythology, and commas. because rogue cells took a good woman down when I was fourteen, when my brain was malleable. now i am destined to write but only in mediocre…
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  • trivialities
    November 21, 2023
    Awaiting sleep, my body exhausted. My brain - not so much. Limbs weak and shaky from fighting an infection; from five days of too many meds; from intimacy; from a steroid shot in the ass; from relief. We leave tomorrow, or we don't, and I can see the benefits of both. Off again to lose…
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