Coping (Trigger Warning)

I used to be someone who loved to run, who loved to be active, and anywhere but my bed. When I was in school, Elementary and Junior High I was very much into being on a team, Soccer, Track, Cross Country I loved the adrenaline and loved feeling the sweat on my skin. I came so close to a scholarship, until I reached High School. My depression was always there but was never really prominent, I started struggling and all I wanted to do was stay home and sleep. I quit running, I quit being active, and I found a home in my bed, and I hated it. I gained weight and i found it so hard to pick up the pace let alone run, I hated myself, I cut, I cried, I wanted to die. I met a good group of friends and things started looking up again, I went out, I laughed, I loved my life again, until, my Mom was diagnosed with stage 3 Breast Cancer, she fought a good fight and survived. Life was good again, I moved out to Texas to live with my Breast Cancer surviving Mother, got a good job at Amazon and also something I thought would never happen in a million years, I found the love of my life. I ended up losing my job at Amazon (that’s fine fuck that place) I kept my amazing boyfriend and I was so happy, it was a very unfamiliar feeling but I loved it. My boyfriend and I are still together and so in love, my Moms Cancer came back at Stage 4 and spread to all of her bones and is now terminal which is very sad but shes in good spirits. I’m still dealing with depression but I have a better hang of it.  I started painting and learning how to express myself through art, its helped so much being able to put all my emotions on a canvas then stepping back and looking at it, its absolutely beautiful.