Another Formal New Year’s

  New Year’s came and the guys at Fiddler’s Green decided to host another Formal New Year’s Party.

 I agreed to catch a ride from Chrissy to the party. She worked a wedding earlier and was going to pick me around 10PM, a little late for the party, but doable. On the way to pick me up, she got a flat tire. This after she was running late to pick me up. Needless to say we made it to the party 20 minute after midnight.

  I was annoyed, but it quickly subsided after I got to the party and began to mingle. Who I was surprised to see there was Azuree. On top of that, Azuree and Cliff were now a couple, which Azuree was more than happy to reveal to me in a ‘hope your jealous’ sort of way. I was amused.

  Things took a drastic turn as then night commenced. While sitting on the couch talking to Sean’s girlfriend Jennifer, Sean and Jay came over and said “how do you spell ‘jerk’? K-E-R-R-Y” continuing a run-on inside joke w had going for years… We had a quick laugh and they moved on when Azuree came storming over and stood in front of me.

  “You know what? You are a jerk!” She exclaimed.

  “Okay…” I answered, looking over at Jennifer with an apologetic expression.  

 “And your wearing flood pants.” She added, in an insulting tone.

 “Okay…“ I replied. Even though I wasn’t wearing flood pants, my suit was just an older suit and they were just too short for me now.

I guess she didn’t get the reactions from me she wanted at all tonight, so she slapped me in the face. Then she started to apologize right away. Out of all the reactions I could have given, my reaction was to stand up and run away around the corner. I started laughing and didn’t want her to see. I found Chrissy and explained what just happened. Then Azuree found me and kept apologizing and asked if I was okay. I told her I was.

   Then she said “Good,” and slapped me again immediately apologizing as I ran again. I immediately ran out the front door laughing hysterically. I f I can keep her from seeing me laughing I could feign mock outrage and use this as an excuse to never talk to her again. She started to come out the front door to find me. Seeing her I bolted around the side of the house to the back yard. She chased after me in her high heels and formal dress with her boyfriend Cliff chasing her.

  I ran up the steps of the back deck and saw Dan relaxing and smoking a cigar. According to his point of view, he saw me running up out of nowhere run into the back door into the house followed by this girl in an elegant satin gown and heels. By the time I got to the split level stairs and turned around to see if she was still chasing me I saw her reach the back door only to have the welcome mat slip out from under her and cause her to fly up into the air and land flat on her back.

  Dan ran over to see if she was okay while she just laid there on her back mumbling to herself that she was indeed okay until Cliff ran over and picked her up and whisked her into the house onto a couch in the living room.

  At this time I ran into Jay’s room and hid behind Azure who had spent the whole party feeling ill and laying in Jay’s bed. Azure was visibly annoyed and in no mood for any of my antics.

George immediately closed the door and blocked Azuree from entry while I retold the story. After about ten minutes, Cliff announced that they were leaving and told me that Azuree really wanted to apologize before she left. At first I said no, but she wasn’t going to leave until she could apologize. I agreed, but George was going to be my mediator. So if she went to hit me again I had a witness.

  She apologized and I accepted. Then as she got her jacket she leaned in and told me “I just wanted you to know, I lost my virginity to Cliff, but I wanted it to be you.”

  I made a horrific yet ‘that’s the awkwardness I expected’ kind of expression as she left. The kind of face that George just had to ask, “What did she just say to you?” The answer… Nothing I could un-hear,  no matter how much I wished.

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March 20, 2012

that sounds like a great backup plan !! but if i move to NY there better be a man waiting for me!