C.P.I.

  Now that Mary had my phone number, she would call just to hang out with us when there wasn’t a party going on. Ummm…  okay. We were all accommodating enough.

But she didn’t have any money. When we were all hanging out at someone’s house, no worries. If we are all going out to a movie, don’t invite yourself along. But you did, so we’ll all chip in a dollar and you are good to go. But wait, after the movie we all go to a diner like we are apt to do. We order our food and she sits there looking hungry. We break down and say order something, we’ll all chip in a little. What does she order? Shrimp and baked clams. None of us are rich at this time. If I am ordering a plate of fries because part of my funds was going to pay for your food, don’t buy friggin’ seafood!

   The first time she was at my house she went upstairs to use the restroom and met my parents. She looked at my mom and the first thing she said was “You’re beautiful. My Mom’s a hag.” My mother didn’t know how to respond. After she left, my parents asked us who that girl was. I remember my father saying: “Who was that girl? She’s a real space cadet. She is really out there.” And I responded, laughing, “…yeah. And she likes George!” Without missing a beat my father then says. “What a sweet girl. George, you should go out with her.” Funniest. Thing. Ever.

  It was funny when it was happening with George. But with George being openly hostile to her, it didn’t take long for her to set her attention towards me. My ‘mean’ was still better than everyone else’s ‘nice’ to her.

  She was already aware that every weekend there was a club out in the Hampton’s called C.P.I’s that we used to go to and see ‘Fossil Bands’ play at. It was Canoe Place Inn. A historic building that was one of those places the George Washington slept at. (I think he must have moved a mile a day, because he slept everywhere). Now (then) it was converted into a multi room club/bar. You can get in free if you show your ‘WRCN’ card, which was a card you get for free as a radio station promotion. (One that you can get by signing up for a mailing list at the table in front of the club) That one summer alone we saw, Joan Jett, Kansas, .38 Special, Cheap Trick, Dream Theater, Dee Snyder of Twisted Sister fame, Night Ranger… The list goes on.

  Mary had heard us talking about an earlier trip to the club when George, Rich, Rich’s friend Mac, Mac’s newly ex-girlfriend Wendy, and I went to that was the first show of the season. Wendy was a really cute blonde girl that still wanted Mac, but Mac wanted nothing to do with her.  Mac recently started working at Penney’s with all of us so we all became friends and even hung out with Wendy a few times. How she finagled her way to come, I don’t know, because Mac didn’t even want to ride with her and Rich never liked her. I was supposed to ride with George, but somehow four of us ended up riding in three cars. Wendy didn’t want to drive alone so I ended up riding with Wendy. Wendy’s car didn’t go faster than 45mph for some reason. Rich and Mac drove together and George drove alone taking up the rear.

  It was really the first time I got to talk and get to know Wendy. She was actually kind of fun. The first thing we saw when we got to C.P.I. was a couple having sex on the hood of their car. About as awkward as when I took my cousin Rachel to see the lighthouse and ended up walking onto the nude beach.

  The evening went well, but on the way home, we were driving back Rich up front, Wendy and I in the middle car and George taking the rear. Rich had a tendency to speed. So he was forced to drive really fast, then slow to a crawl so Wendy’s car could catch up. We were listening to the Lion King soundtrack and changed the Lyrics to ‘Hakuna Matata’ to ‘A Pina Colada’.  As we sang at the top of our lungs she would make the car swerve to and fro as if making the car dance.

When we looked in the rear view mirror, George was getting pulled over by the police. We stopped at the nearby diner that we were going to be meeting at anyway to wait for him. When he got there, he was pissed. Especially, at Wendy. He told us… “You guys were driving like morons and the cop pulled me over? Wendy! You were all over the road!”

  I defended her with “We were car dancing to the Lion King Soundtrack.” George was not amused. 

George was the only one to see the police officer. He was driving a Ford Cougar that his brother was restoring.  Unfortunately, the digital dashboard didn’t light up so he couldn’t see his speed. When the cop started to trail all of us, George accidentally hit the steering wheel adjust and his car swerved a little, as soon as that happened, the cop’s lights went on. They gave him a field sobriety test that George passed, but George was pissed nonetheless.  The police asked him where he was going. He told them he was following his friends. They asked him why “his friends” didn’t stop when he got pulled over. George said he didn’t know, but that they could follow him and arrest him for murder when he did catch up to us. When the police asked if any of his friends had been drinking George replied “no, but feel free to pull them over.”  They said they were going to see wh

at shape he was in and then call ahead to pick up the rest of us. George assured them that none of his friends were drunk, we were just morons.

It was always a fun time going to C.P.I’s and now Mary wanted in.

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