Bloody Mess! Ouchie Part II
Well session two of BFA tattoo, which was to do the color work of the blue and red, didn’t quite go so well….we ended up cutting the session short because of excessive bleeding! The first pic below is roughly 12 hours later so lots of improvement…the pic after next has blood in it so if that makes you queasy better back click now….anyways in 4 weeks we will try to finish the work…at least the color work…still another 2 sessions minimum, so the line work and rope detailing can be completed..
This is where the bloody mess was at before he called it for the night…
I was trying to explain to Her, about how purifying the pain is, how the seconds stretch out into infinity…1 hour and 17 minutes in the chair..Sergio was drilling for China, might have been 3 months to me…so many things to think about…I can confess I called out her name over and over, fortunately her name was muffled into a handy bite-cloth I brought from home. Nobody was the wiser except for the occasional long groan on a particularly sensitive spot…
Its funny, but as reported on other places…I have been struggling to sacrifice my feelings LOVE!! towards Her, everyday it is a new surprise…but I have been working it so hard…and recently my prayers as i slowly walk her to the altar, (as I carry her to the altar in my mind) and lay her down, gently, on that hard space..and I always ask the same, for God’s love and mercy and grace to pour out on her…to draw her in with the sweet taste…it is enough for me..
I am shocked at our physical restraint…a toss of her pony tail, or a 3 Mississippi count of eyes locked pushes me to the point where I feel I am standing on a type of volcano that compresses and holds enormous energy but when will it let go? How long can it last? I finally, this week was able to say in all honesty..”you do know, I am just a man, right?” with all the baggage and freight that it carries..
I love riding the ragged edge but I am terrified of this one…because to fail in physical restraint is to lose everything. I wanted to ask her whether she had ever seduced anyone, just trying to suss out if she understood the massive responsibilities of being a seductor….that line of questioning fell flat and moved onto other more exciting topics…she is a seductor by not being a seductor… Biggest irony of this whole thing and something that makes me smile? I am finally getting enough muscle memory to carry my love for her to that altar everyday…and guess what I get? She opens up!!!?!!?!!
She shares true intimate stuff with me! LOL Fuck me! God, that is too funny….that is what I am dying to have is intimacy…soul intimacy, spirit intimacy..and I go and throw it up on your altar and then she is like “Ok let’s talk!, let me share something amazing about my past!” I am still pleased with her sharing, but as she shares I fall in love all over again…the next morning..to the altar and throw my love up there again…
Everyday gets easier..carrying my love to the altar….everyday I get a little more used to the idea of taking everything I ever wanted and throwing up there and lighting it on fire….
I don’t feel crazy for doing it because everyday feels closer to the fulfillment of a promise made long ago….
Warmest Care for all of you…
-Beauty for Ashes