Ramblings part 1

September is finally here. August seems like it lasted for 2 years. I am emotionally drained. I am 24 years old now…like anyone cares but I worry about the other side of 20. When I become 26 will there be any chance that I will have finally discovered myself? Will I be any closer to my dream? What exactly is my dream? I wish I was happy, I wish I could stop crying. Shit. Listening to Death Cab for Cutie and going straight to White Chapel on my ipod st terribly polar opposite. What is that word I am looking for? Dichotomy. I had a sexual dream before waking up this morning. Attraction is a terrible thing. Animal instincts tell me to do whatever I want, but I didn’t. Always fighting my emotions. Mistakes. Happiness.