the ghost of mae west

Monday (also known as our Friday) was the end of a long week of shooting. We’re moving to a night schedule now, so it’s going to be a lot of black out curtains and Nyquiladas for yours truly. I discovered Friday that Saved has a listing on IMDB. It’s full of factual errors, but whatever. A week or two ago a diarist accused me of lying about the whole thing because (s)he couldn’t find our movie on IMDB. I was all ready to leave a note along the lines of “pucker up, buttercup” but then I found they had blocked me from their diary! The nerve. Sometimes I hate OD. But then I thought about it and, rereading that entry, it’s all over the top bragging about how fabulous and celebrity filled my life is. And while that’s true right now, in less than a month I’m going to be sitting my ass back in Loser Industries and going through a break up with B. (I’m moving out when I get back to LA. It’s time. It’s time.) Lots of love but it’s just not fixable.Oh speaking of bragging and celebrity filled moments… Michael Stipe is in town and on set. I had totally forgotten what a warm person he is. He’s pretty much the only celebrity I’ve met who I felt instantly comfortable with. His honey wagon is connected to mine by a sliding door and he heard me listening to my MP3’s of “The Free Design” and wanted to know who they were. I love “The Free Design.” They’re like the Carpenters, but not as good. They’re bad in a good way. He thought they were pretty fabulous, especially the song “Butterflies are Free.” I burned him a CD of it. In addition to being in town for our movie, REM is coming up later this month to record their new album in Vancouver. Michael’s staying at his friend Douglas Coupland’s house. Sigh. So trying to score an invite over to Doug’s house. LOVE HIM!The night got a little tense though when we started shooting Macaulay’s scene. He’s been a little problematic. Sometimes he’s really good. Like the food court scene we shot last week was fantastic. But he doesn’t take direction well. And sometimes he does his character all wrong. His character’s supposed to be cool. He’s the bitter wheelchair bound brother who smokes and hangs out with strippers. Instead he’s coming across as sometimes nerdy, sometimes gay. Monday night it seemed like Macaulay was channeling Mae West as he read his lines. “Maaahray, darling it’s not her prom… … … … … It’s all of aaaaahhhhrs!” What?!? CUT! B was trying his best. S said he wanted to go over there and strangle Mac. He wanted to go over there and say, “do this right or we’re going to get Kieren (sp?) to come in and do ADR.” (ADR: additional dialog recording) B got all Otto Preminger on his ass, “Again, Macaulay… Say it again.” B made him say the lines over and over with the cameras rolling. He tried rewording the lines, taking out the words that Macaulay was camping up. It must have been kind of embarrassing. But his performance was so affected, I just don’t know what he was doing. B never broke down and gave him a line reading. In the end we got pieces of what we need that we can edit together. But it was long hard work. I’m scared that the tuxedo is making him act that way. He feels all dressed up and saucy. Super weirdo moment was when Macaulay was telling me that his favorite movie is Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?. I was like, “oh my God! You are Baby Jane.” And he’s not gay, either. Maybe it’s left over gay from his role in Party Monster.My manager is in town. He just got here today. He’s a nice enough guy but dang he’s just not smart enough. We had sushi and awkward conversation. He was asking me if I hung out with the actors much. I was like, “BK, they’re kids. I mean they’re nice and all but I don’t have anything to talk to them about. Like I’m going to go out, get drunk and sing Kareoke with Mandy Moore? I don’t need any extra humiliation in my life.” He came over to our hotel and watched some of the dailies with his cell phone ringing ever 5 minutes. He then asked me if I had been snow boarding since I had been up here. I told him that I had a doctor’s note explaining that I was gay. Anyway, I prefer my arms and legs unbroken. He went back to his hotel for his 6 PM in room massage which I was unfortunate enough to hear about when I met him at the hotel. The horror… I think a massage would leave me more stressed out than before I got it. The thought of some total stranger rubbing their bacteria infested hands all over me… all the while making absurd comments about the weather and how I’m “real tense.” “Of course I’m tense, get your slut of a hand off me!” What a nightmare!More celebrity activity in the weeks ahead. Jack and Kelly Osbourne are friends with Mandy and they’re supposed to be coming out here next week to visit her. I hope MTV comes with them because we need all the publicity we can get. I love our publicist, but she’s not very good I’m afraid. She sent over this “potential questions” sheet for me to review before my interview on Saturday. First of all there were more spelling mistakes than you could shake a stick at. I mean, I make spelling errors, but spell check is so easy. Secondly, these questions are not going to be asked of me. It’s going to be much more stupid and celebrity oriented. Frankly I’m astonished they want to interview me at all. I mean, can you name one screenwriter? Nobody knows screenwriters. To quote Joe Gillis in Sunset Boulevard (The movie, not that Andrew Webber atrocity) “No one knows writers exist. They just think the actors make it up as they go along.”Top five:

1. My new Desiel coat is so freaking fabulous. It’s a gray wool number that makes me look like Nosferatu.
2. Watching Michael get excited about “The Free Design.” “This is fantastic! They should be on the sound track album!”
3. Noodles snoring gently on the sofa.
4. Fantastic sushi. Really top notch.
5. Found the station that plays “Art Bell, Coast to Coast” up here. I should call in about the ghost of Mae West.