Update

Just a quick note to say that my tooth is doing much better. It still has some sensitivity when pressure is put on it, but that’s about it. I don’t know if I said it in my earlier posting but they put a band on the tooth to hold it together which feels quite strange but definitely livable.

It’s been quite the week. A girl, my son befriended in 4th grade who came to my house a lot when she was younger had and lost her baby on Tuesday. Her brother is actually living at my house and her mother and I used to be good friends (I wrote once, a long time ago before the hackers, about the falling out of our friendship and won’t go into it here).

Her baby had some disease that is generally caused by a lack of folic acid and her brain (the baby’s) wasn’t completely formed and the top half was missing. The skull also didn’t form over the top half of her brain. She did have all the facial skeletal bone but just above the forehead the skull ended. She, KM, knew in the 4th or 5th month that this was the case and could have opted to abort but decided she wanted as much time with her child as possible and didn’t want to be the one to take the child’s life. They told KM that she probably wouldn’t carry the baby full term or deliver a live baby. However, 33 weeks into her pregnancy, she did deliver her daughter, Gabrielle and fifty minutes later Gabrielle died. It was hard to watch KM go through this. It brought back memories of my own pain in losing a child. Also, in my mind KM was still that little girl who used to come play at our house and it was hard to see her going through such a painful experience.

 The nurses and staff were amazing. Usually they only allow one or two people in the birthing room any time during labor and delivery. However, given the circumstances, they allowed KM to have as many people as she was comfortable with having in the room. When it was time to deliver they did narrow it down to 2, but once Gabrielle arrived, anyone KM wanted could be in the room.  After Gabrielle passed, the nurses took her to the nursery where they took dozens of pictures of her with teddy bears and in several different outfits. They are giving her the pictures, free of charge. They also allowed both KM and the father to have a lock of hair, and believe me, Gabrielle had plenty of hair to get a lock from! They also told KM of a support group available for mother’s who’ve lost babies. The health profession has sure come a long way in helping mother’s deal with losing a baby!

KM has been amazing through all of this. She already had the funeral home picked out and the cemetery plot. The dad was there through much of it, but he wasn’t very supportive…didn’t help pick out the funeral home or anything else like that. She was considering having the funeral on Saturday so no one would have to take off of work, but was leery since it’s so close to mother’s day. With all that’s going on, she was concerned about how it would affect other mother’s being so close to mother’s day. She really has done a lot of growing up in the past few months. (She’s only 18).

As I said, it’s been an exhausting week. KM went in on Sunday evening in labor and they ended up sending her home. I was at the hospital til late Sunday night. She went back in on Tuesday and that’s the day she had Gabrielle. I had run out of my anti-depressants over the weekend, so that wasn’t helping much. I was already taking them sporadically cause I knew I was about to run out and wasn’t able to get the prescription refilled yet. KM is planning on having the funeral Saturday some time cause we told her we’d be fine and she should have the funeral when she wants.  I’m also supposed to go to my adopted daughter’s house on Saturday, so I may end up being late and although I’m sure she’ll be disappointed, I’m just a certain that she’ll understand.

I’m not quite sure how to end this, it was only supposed to be an entry to let everyone know that my tooth is doing much better. I hate to end it abruptly, and yet, I REALLY need to go and get busy which doesn’t leave me with a lot of choices. If anyone can think of a great way to wrap this entry up, leave it in a note and I’ll edit this later to put the new ending in.

Thanks for listening (reading)