My Boy <3

It still feels weird coming here to write.  I sit here and stare at the computer screen.  My mind is filled with so much yet, I just cant seem to put one thought in front of the other to make a coherent diary entry.

Last night Noah and I had our small groups at Church.  He goes to kids small group for kids in 1st thru 4th grade and I attend a Women’s small group.  He is enjoying it.  He is my shy boy, like his mom.  Takes him a while to open up and feel comfortable.  He’s never one to be center of attention in places like Church or School.  Last night my boy surprised me.  I found out he lead worship for the kids.  He sang, out loud in front of everyone, with the band behind him.  My heart rejoiced.  I am still flying on cloud 9.   I get teary eyed just thinking/picturing him doing this.  My God, you are marvelous!

Noah is a pretty good boy for being a 6 year old boy.  He is respectful to adults.  He behaves when he is not with us.   He is thoughtful and a good friend.  He cares about others.   I should specify, when hes not with us lol.  His behavior at home, well that is another store.  Lately I have to go to my room to have a little cry because I get so frustrated and overwhelmed.  I don’t want to yell at him all the time.  All I want him to do is listen. I don’t want him to throw fits or whine about everything.   I know its normal.  My Aunt-in-Law has always told me, if your kids are prefect angles when you aren’t around, but terrible at home, you’re doing something right.  Noah’s electronics have been taken away for almost a month.  I’m slowly giving him time back on them.  One wrong move and they get taken away again.  He spent two nights in his room after school last week.

Parenting is NOT easy.

I am trying to have more patience.  I recently read in one of my devotionals that a mother/wife is supposed to bring peace to her home.  I laughed… have you met my kid at home? HA.  How on earth am I to bring peace to my home?  I am trying to speak with authority, rather than yell.  But man when he sticks his tongue out at me or makes faces at me, I want to knock him into the wall lol.  Please note, I would never ever in a million years do anything like that to my child, I can’t help the thoughts that cross my mind when I am frustrated.  Lord, help me have more patience and control my thoughts. Help me and other mothers who struggle as I do bring peace to their home.

Don’t get me wrong, through all the chaos I love my son more than life itself.  I wanted a boy, prayed for a boy, and God gave me and my husband the desires of our heart.   He is the only one I have (besides my three step daughters-which is another entry in its self) and he is the only one I will ever have.   I am doing everything I can to raise him to be a world changer.   I want him to be a world changer.

Noah is so smart.  Reading at a 4th grade level in 1st grade.  I can’t believe my kid is reading big chapter books in 1st grade.  I hope he continues to like to read, a trait he very well picked up from me.  I love reading, I just wish I had more time to read all my unread books LOL.   He is amazing in math.  I am so proud of how well he is doing.  When he first started kindergarten I was nervous at how well he would do because he is shy, especially with women.   But he had an amazing kindergarten teacher.  I love his 1st grade teacher too.  Although he is shy with his teachers, he participates in class and does what hes assigned.   He doesn’t usually get in trouble.  Although he got in trouble last week with a couple other boys… they decided to play in the mud at recess and got their snowsuits all muddy.   It could be worse, and they were just being boys, but it still stung a little.  I want him to be a good example to his friends and I explained that to him.

Well I think that’s enough for now on my boy.  I should get some work done.

Ta ta.