SI
I haven't taken a blade to my skin in at least two years (I think...the timeline is messy). The past couple weeks have been a struggle.
4 SI
SI
I used a disposable razor today for the first time in probably 8+ years. I'm talking your basic, doesn't get any cheaper than this, disposable razor. I almost couldn't do it. You know that terribly sickening feeling you get when something horrific happens. Your whole body goes numb & your pal...
SI
Sometimes I still think about it. Apathetically. The same way you trail your fingers through the sand. Just, with a razor blade and skin.
SI
What the fuck is wrong with me and why the fuck do I feel like this. I would cut right now. I would. But I know how bad it would be. And, I just, can't.
SI
I am completely overwhelmed. I cut yesterday. It was terrible, I couldn't seem to cut deep enough, couldn't seem to bleed enough. And it didn't make anything better. (it was a shitty razor, that's why...I'll do better tonight) I'm also having a panic attack and I can't seem to calm myself down th...
SI
I picked up my razor earlier, and without a second thought, dug it into my wrist. Oh how incredibly easy it was. Being brand new, it didn't even take the least bit of effort to draw a good amount of blood. And with a little bit of intention, quite a bit could be coaxed from…
Pain
I want someone to hit me, to beat me, bruise me, make me bleed, and leave me dying, dead. I want SOMEONE ELSE to start hurting me, I'm tired of doing it myself damnit.
SI
..and I know you weren’t reading the paper in my hand - you were staring at the scars on my wrist.
Psychology
We were watching video clips of case studies on different disorders in Psychology this afternoon. We watched one on Self-Injury. It wasn't hard to watch the video. What was hard, was watching the teacher in her perplexity attempt to explain the "disorder". How obviously ignorant she was on the su...
SI
Endorphins are your body's natural pain relievers. & when you cut, your body releases them. To calm you. So perhaps it isn't about the wound at all. But about the calm after the storm.