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ashes

August 6, 2019
People don’t change. Life changes. But. People. Don’t. I can say this because I am one of those people. Life looks different now, but inside I am still the exact same person. Like an addict who lives their whole life looking sober, but they go to sleep at night dying for just one more. It…
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Recent Entries

  • Asset 5
    roots
    February 17, 2019
    I am the deep blue nothing drowning in the noise choking choking break repeating reaching reaching empty drifting fading fading just the surface I am the deep blue nothing.
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  • So Sorry, That I Let You Down
    February 28, 2018
    My husband is out of town, so the house is dark and quiet, and I'm alone. The girls are fast asleep in their beds. He travels often, usually only a night or two at a time, but week in and week out it starts to add up. He says he misses us, but I imagine…
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  • The Day I Should Have Died
    February 19, 2018
    It was a Saturday in May, almost 5 years ago now. Courtney had moved to Texas with her boyfriend and secretly married him so she could live on base with him during basic training; she'd driven back home the night before to surprise her family with a visit and we'd made plans to drive several…
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  • Predictability
    February 14, 2018
    I have 1.5 hours to get my thoughts out, give or take, while the kids nap. This is what my life has become, just a series of predictable events. Uneventful, uninspired. I stopped writing completely after I had Evelyn and got married, open diary was gone and I felt like I'd outgrown the need to&he...
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  • It’s Back!
    February 6, 2018
    It’s kind of strange, writing this on my iPhone instead of tapping away on a keyboard. About to write about my grown up life in a diary full of teenage angst. I’m married, going on 4 years. I have a 4 year old. And a 2 year old. And They’re incredible. like legitimately incredible - I…
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  • Birth Story
    January 10, 2014
    On December 4th I had what was supposed to be my last OB appointment before Evelyn's due date. I had been dilated at 1cm and 80% effaced since 36 weeks, but now, one day before my due date, I was finally making some progress - 2cm and 90% effaced. I asked the doctor how big…
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  • Baby Evelyn
    January 4, 2014
    December 4 December 10   23 hours of labor + 2.5 hours of pushing = 8lbs, 13oz and 21in of perfection Proud Momma Proud Daddy And our perfect little baby girl
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  • Moving, for now at least
    July 17, 2013
     We don't have Internet at home and I don't like logging on here at work because i have such personal things on here, so I started a blog kennerpartyofthree.blogspot.com i'll still post here when I have personal things to write about, but for just documenting life in general I'll be using th...
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  • Hard
    April 20, 2013
     Being pregnant feels an awful lot like being anorexic right now - it is SO hard to force myself to eat, I have 0 appetite 100% of the time. And 75% of the time I'm trying to force food down as my guts start to clench, ready to just puke it all back up. I…
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