I was going through my childhood dresser, full of clothes – I seemed a bit frantic as I was pulling things out and putting particular things aside to “pack” for some reason…the first thing I remember noting was a specific pair of jeans that I owned in college. Skinny jeans and bootcut still lived side by side at that time, and these were low rise bootcut medium wash American Eagle jeans that hugged my hips just right while conveniently hiding my thick calves. After that was a navy blue velvet dress – child sized – and the moment my dream hands felt the fabric and lifted it enough to recognize what it was, I lucidly realized what this dresser was hiding and felt desperate to see what else was there before my time was up. But I’d barely reached and grabbed for more, and it was gone.

I just wonder, why? Was I removing the offending articles of clothing, to rid myself of guilt? Or was I attempting to hoard them somewhere deeper?


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