Chess not checkers biatch

I’m in bed…I just ate two dinners…

today I ate: pizza, dried cranberries and graham crackers for breakfast. Bbq pork and sausage with 4 slices of bread for lunch, then an açaí bowl and a burger with fries for dinner …..…I’m a fat ass….

Tomorrow I will work out. Tomorrow I will fast from now until dinner. Tomorrow I will only have water.

Tonight I’ll drink water and not smoke weed and go to bed early. It’s already 8:30pm. That means I am doing well with time. I’ll get 8 hours of sleep if I stay in bed and not go venturing out for weed.

ive been struggling so bad with my addiction. Ive been smoking weed every day since the week after Christmas. I wonder how much money was spent on weed…definitely over $200…maybe over $500…I hope it’s not over $1k.

I feel asleep during my journaling then woke up and roamed the streets in my car at 1:25am in search of more weed. I found some in my car. I smoked it and came back home. Now I’m just hoping to get some more rest. tomorrow is going to be a long day because I work a double shift…or I should say, today will be a long day.

i have so much to say and catch you up on. Gray, Clark, Patrice…and now Nava is traded out for Mack. I don’t really dislike Nava as much as I did before. Nava is a hater but not as nearly as much as the hyenas I work with in my classroom.

today I was called in the conference room again. This time with Ms. Patrice….HR is going to be notified. I asked for time off. I dotted all my i’s and crossed all my t’s….im ready for summer break!

im ready for a 4 month break from work! Ill still work my other two jobs but its going to be MUCH EASIER….MORE TIME TO FOCUS ON MY CAREER.

I’m eating like trash. But that changes now, only water today. Only water until it’s time for dinner…doing this today and tomorrow only…then on Friday…we will see. I just need to spend the next two days working out, getting sleep and taking vitamins.

with that being said, I should get some sleep. I’ll set my alarm for 7am so I can sleep for 3.5 hours…

I think I slept 3 hours already…not sure. Now I must pray….

Dear Father,

im struggling with my addiction. I can’t stop smoking weed. I feel like I need it when I don’t want it. I just want to be beautiful and slim and smart and rich. Life is so short and i want to have fun. I don’t want to work all the time but at least the job I have is interesting. It’s almost stressful but I don’t mind it. I know you’ll never give me more than I can handle.

please keep me safe at my job tomorrow. I pray that I can have an easy day at work. I pray Anabel will be in a good mood. I pray that I can focus on what matters.

i know I need to go over Lord You Know. I also need to go over my other song. It would be helpful to write down the lyrics. I could make a new order for headshots and resumes. It would be helpful to look at the edited videos….

lord, help me have better focus for my career when I’m at work. I love you with all my heart and soul. Amen.