Requesting some days off

Dear Jesus,

I know I haven’t spoken to You in a long time. I do scream HELLLLP frequently…when I wake up, in the car, when I’m home alone…never around people(unless I can’t help it). I wonder, whom am I screaming to? Certainly not You in that tone, but there is a bit of resentment that makes me feel inclined to just scream it instead of calmly praying.
Right now, I’m calmly praying. However, I do feel like screaming on the inside. Except, I don’t have the energy…I just smoked. when I smoke, I feel more sedated. Right now, I’m a bit exhausted. I have 1.5 hours to either sleep for 30 min then get up and rush to McDonald’s before going work.

i have to be at McDonald’s in 45 min. I should try to sleep. I think that’s important. Father, I’m going through it. I would like to put smoking to the side. My lips look bad. I feel angry all the time. I’m not happy. I feel behind. I feel no motivation to do anything…is it the smoking or depression or anxiety or all of it together and reducing to weed abuse? Is there such thing? Anyway. I love You. Amen.