Devastation and pride

Devestation. My son, let’s just call him 25 since his birthday is on Thursday, is trying to move to Las Vegas to be with his dad, who is very sick. I’ve talked to him in the past about this, and indeed suggested that he do just this to spend time with him. He has been hiding details from me, and is just now saying that Wal-Mart wants him in Vegas by 12/22/2018. He’s going to be leaving as quickly as possible. I am devastated that he didn’t tell me sooner, he applied for the position in November. I am devastated because no matter how hard I have reached out these past 6 weeks or so he kept blowing me off. I hardly get to even talk to him on the phone or via text.

Proud, I am so proud that he has made this decision and is making it happen. I am proud that I didn’t cry at all on the phone with him. I am proud to see the man he has become, and I hope desperately that maybe his father will be able to get him more straightened out with some of his mental health stuff.

Scared. Just scared.

My maternal unit has recently moved me via facebook. After over 10years of silence I can’t figure out why. I mean she has a reason to, but I don’t know if it is a legitimate reason for her to contact me after all these years. I  wonderwonder, is it an attempt to try and reestablish contact or just….just what?

the woman I am in love with, is officially here in Oregon and has been since the 15th. We haven’t talked much but that’s okay, I’m used to unrequited emotions. At this point were supposed to see one another on the

My full-time job is nice, but sucks rotten eggs in a few aspects. Paper route is ok. I enjoy doing it for the most part, especially on the nights when I am alone and equipped with my new taser gun /flashlight combo. Other then the weirdos near the apartment complex i  do okay.

minor medication adjustments have been made, and I think it’s helping. Takes time to see for sure though.

The holiday season end is nearing its close, for which I am thankful for. This year hasn’t been horrible yet, but there’s still time right? I’m going to try and get some sleep as tomorrow is going to suck.

I’ll log in soon and get caught up on my favorites.



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