I just called to say- nevermind.

Getting a hold of my mom is a feat. Its sad because I actually want to talk to her. I want to cry to her about my recent test results. I want her to know that while I put on a brave face for everyone else, I’m scared.

Maybe I know that she’s unavailable and I keep reaching out to her because I know she won’t respond and I’ll never have to admit out loud what I’m feeling inside.

Then again, it stings every time she says she is busy with someone else. It’s never my turn, never going to be my turn.

I’m not sure why I keep trying. I just want her to know that my heart is broken and it might be her fault…