My dad

First, I do not have a deep relationship with my dad, and I never had. To me, he was what would later be called a bully, a man who ran things and people with force and strength. But when he needed to get an English course to keep his job, he did come to me and, yes, of course, I taught him English.

He appeared a little different from how I thought he was when my mother needed heavy surgery. Small, afraid and wanting help with his emotions, the bully peeled away like the skins of an onion. Tears, in the eyes of my dad?

Yes, real tears, not from cutting onions. Men don’t cry, remember?

The relationship changed, I think for all of us, after that experience. My father changed and so did all of us, so did I.

The emotions I feel now, tears when I see a puppy picture, or hungry African kids, I now know my dad had the same emotions. He just had a problem showing them, as I do! He was not the bully I thought he was, he just worked hard to keep his family together. I think and hope that I am not a bully…

My mother survived the surgery, and she survived my dad, both are not with us anymore!

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My Dad is the best. I love him. He isn’t purrfect but then, nobody is.

December 2, 2020

I feel like your my son describing my husband. He was tough on the kids. Yes, tough for my to handle as well. He worked hard all his life to give the kids what he never had. One day after my kids were grown and starting to move out, I lost my mind. I was about to give up on life itself. Figuring I wasn’t needed any longer, everybody would be just fine without me. Till I realized that my tough, mean ole husband, who I thought was numb, was lost. I seen it in his eyes when he seen me about to give up. Needless to say, I realized he was just as scared as I was to lose these kids. Raising kids is all we knew! It’s a great feeling knowing that I’ll forever be needed by him. The kids, well they for the first time ever look at him grateful for him forever taking care of me. My children and I have also helped him with his English over the years! You’re not your father and you always can break any cycle that’s been started! Sometimes the bully is actually full of love just not knowing how to show it.