don’t mind me-I’m just going to ramble on and on..

I keep wanting to write something interesting, but since I’ve been working like a madwoman and have no time to take a breath at my office, and then I come home to dial up – and am way too tired to go out to a wireless haunt after work – I’ll just have to be satisfied with a big looooog survey. That I swiped from Theox most recently, although I also saved a similar one from Jasspirit some time ago.

You say you thought my workload was supposed to decrease? Yeah, so did I! But that’s a whole other entry. And I’m more interested in this one right now.

1.  What bill do you hate paying the most?

I hate paying them all equally. I guess I hate the ones I have to write out a check for and mail the very most, though. I do manage most of my finances online so there aren’t too many of those. And by "manage", of course, I mean forget, ignore, and avoid. No, no, I pay them. I’m actually pretty good at it. I really hate to do it, but if I left it to Baker B we’d be homeless, carless, and utility-less in very short order. He’s even worse at it than I am.

2.  What’s the best place to eat a romantic dinner?

Well, it wouldn’t be with me. How pathetic is it that I find the idea of a romantic dinner totally foreign?? Baker B and I just aren’t romantic people. Even when we first were dating we weren’t romantic, and now that we’ve been together for a shocking twenty years or thereabouts, we are SO not romantic. When we go out to dinner we alternate reading the paper with making snarky comments to amuse each other. But it’s fun. Honestly, I’d much rather spend time with someone who is making me laugh than with someone who is being romantic. Romance makes me anxious. I probably need therapy.

3.  Last time you puked from drinking?

I started to say it’s been YEARS. I started to say that it was way back when I was married to my first husband and both Kim and Baker B were at our apartment (yes, it was weird) and I drank WAY too much wine and ended up not only throwing up, but also falling down and hitting my face on the table and cutting the inside of my mouth with my teeth. My only excuse is that I was young and stupid and going through a very very traumatic period. And it was MANY MANY years ago. And I never drink that much any more.

Then I remembered the Martini Incident. About a year and a half ago. When Baker B and I were watching Angels in America and I made myself a couple of martinis. And the last thing I remember is the scene when one character finds herself transported to the frozen wasteland of Antarctica, and the room spinning like a merry-go-round. I’m told that I kept saying, "OH MY GOD!!!! LOOK!!! It’s Boone!!! Ewwwwww!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!"

Then I had to go throw up. And go to bed. And watch that part of Angels in America over the next day as I could remember nothing about it. I have no idea how I managed to reach that state without realizing it. I’d just started taking the anti-cancer drug I’m on – Arimadex – so thought maybe it was some weird reaction from that. Or perhaps I just made the martinis much stronger than I realized, since I’d just learned how to make them.  

4.  When is the last time you got drunk and danced on a bar?

I have managed to avoid dancing on bars, either drunk or sober.

5.  Name of your first-grade teacher?

Miss Peek. Who retired not long ago, which means I was probably in one of her first classes. She seemed ancient at the time.

6.  What do you really want to be doing right now?

Well, I’m pretty happy lying here typing in my diary. It’s twenty till one in the morning so my options are kind of limited. Unless I want to get all tanked up and go dancing on bars.

7.  What did you want to be when you were growing up?

My earliest career aspiration was to be a cowboy. I didn’t have the slightest interest in being a cowgirl, however. When I realized that wasn’t going to work out, I decided to be a jockey. Then I got too tall. So I decided to be a writer. I also wanted to be a vet, but that whole fainting-at-the-very-idea-of-blood thing kind of got in the way. When I went to college I majored in art, intending to be a famous painter AND a famous writer.

8.  How many colleges did you attend?

Just one.

9.  Why did you wear the shirt you have on right now?

Because it’s become my Lounging Around Shirt. It’s a black hoodie that was kind of nice until I kept getting things on it. For some reason I have more problems with getting stains on black clothes than any other color. You wouldn’t think that would even be possible.

10.  GAS PRICES!  First thought?

Don’t bitch about them if you’re going to drive around in a monster-vehicle that gets 3 miles to the gallon. And they appeared to have gone up about ten cents today. Wow, that’s quite a surprise.

11.  If you could move anywhere and take someone with you to move, where would you go and with whom?

I hope by "taking someone with me to move", you mean to literally move all my stuff. So I won’t have to. Because I really hate moving all my stuff when it’s just me and Baker B, and it’s usually just me and Baker B. I’d love to have someone else doing all the manual labor. As for WHERE – I’d love to move to the UK for awhile. Or out west. I’d also love to move to New York for six months or so. I think I’d go insane for a longer period, but six months would be fun. AND I’d love to move to Charleston. I really need a whole lot of money so that I can buy houses in all these places. Maybe I should look into being a jockey again.

As for taking someone with me, why, of course I’d take Baker B. And Stella and Colfax.

12.  Alarm went off this morning.  First thought?

"I’m not getting up. I’m going in late. I have comp time, I can sleep in!" Then I got up because Baker B’s car didn’t start for several days – it’s having some issues with rain – and I figured that if I decided I was sleeping in, his car wouldn’t start and I’d have to get up anyhow and I’d make him late and it wouldn’t be worth it. It did start, so I should have gone with my first thought.

13.  Last thought before going to sleep last night?

I really don’t remember. I usually go to sleep pretty fast. I’m one of those lucky people who can fall asleep anywhere, any time. Although I do wake up a lot – but I just go right back to sleep. Usually.

14.  Favorite style of underwear.

Is there a survey in existence that isn’t interested in my underwear???? Well, I like colorful underwear that is also comfortable and doesn’t involve Unsightly Panty Lines. Satisfied???

15.  Favorite style of underwear for the opposite sex?

I don’t find myself viewing a lot of men in their underwear. As long as it’s clean, it’s fine with me.

16.  What errand/chore do you despise?

Cleaning house. I hate hate hate housecleaning. Of course, you’d never guess that  since I have such a spotless designer home! HAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!

17.  If you didn’t have to work, would you volunteer?

I would if I had time left over from all the things I’d be doing if I didn’t have to work. Like writing my novel.

18.  Get up early or sleep in?

Sleep in. No contest.

19.  What is your favorite cartoon character?

I have a number of favorite cartoon characters. I love Space Ghost, and all the Space Ghost characters like Zorak and Brak and Moltar. And Aqua Teen Hunger Force – particularly Frylock. And Ren and Stimpy. We used to watch the Simpsons but for some reason lost touch with them, although Baker B has been on a Simpsons kick lately and has rented some of the older ones. Which are really really funny. We also watched South Park for several years, but it got kind of samey. OH, Dr. Katz, Professional Therapist  was great, years ago, before it moved from Comedy Central to a network and quit being funny. We were hooked on Dr. Katz back when Ray Ramano was on it, BEFORE Everybody Loves Raymond. And I love Spongebob, too. Spongebob is hysterical, even since it got so trendy and popular. That’s another one we used to watch before it got all famous.  

20.  Favorite non-sexual thing to do at night with a girl/guy?

Having a nice conversation.

21.  A secret that you wouldn’t mind everyone knowing?

Well, if I didn’t mind everyone knowing, it wouldn’t be much of a secret, would it?

22.  When did you first start feeling old?

I’ve ALWAYS felt old. I felt old when I was a kid. Probably because I was a very strange and anxious kid.

23.  Favorite 80’s movie?

Hmmmm…. maybe the Big Chill. I probably saw that movie ten times when it came out. I caught a little of it on tv not long ago, and still knew all the lines. The scary thing is that when it came out, the characters were way older than me. Now they’re something like fifteen years younger. Speaking of feeling old.

24.   Your favorite lunch meat?

Turkey.

25.  What do you get every time you go into Costco/Sam’s Club?

A headache? I’ve actually never been to Costco, and I’ve only been in Sam’s once. And didn’t buy anything then. I’m just not a bulk buyer.

26.  Beach or lake?

Beach. No contest. I love lakes too, but I really really REALLY love the beach. I know that’s quite shocking.

27.  Do you think that marriage is an outdated ritual that was invented by people who died at 20?

People who what??? I’m not sure what you mean by that, but it sounds pretty frightening. Like, they died very young and then came back from beyond the grave to invent marriage as revenge??

I don’t think marriage is outdated, but I think it needs updating. It’s about time to include everyone, and not just limit it to straight people. I know we’re doing a fantastic job with it and all, but come ON.

28.  Who do you stalk on MySpace?

I’ve only been on MySpace once, to check out my nephew’s band’s site. Which is now defunct. Am I supposed to be stalking somebody on MySpace?

29.  Favorite guilty pleasure?

It probably would involve eating ice cream.

30.  Favorite movie you wouldn’t want anyone to find out about?

I can’t think of any movie I love that I wouldn’t want anyone finding out about.

31.  What’s your drink?

Dark strong beer.

32.  Cowboys or Indians?

Cowboys.

33.  Cops or robbers?

Robbers, probably. I’ve always liked the bad guys.

34.  Who from high school would you like to run into?

My old best friend Steve. It’s pretty unlikely that I’ll be running into him any time soon, as he died of AIDS fifteen years ago. I’d like to run into Phil again too, and actually SAY something to him this time. (See previous entry re: spotting him from afar). I still haven’t found out if he’s moved back up here.

35.  What radio station is your car radio tuned to right now?

WNCW – a big public radio station here.  I don’t really listen to it, except when I’m on my way to work. Then I listen to the five minutes of BBC World News they play. I generally play CDs. They do have interesting stuff, although they also have way too much "bluegrass/folk-which-is-really-thinly-disguised-country".That’s the only station I’ve ever heard play Tom Waits. And that’s where I first heard Morphine.

36.  Norm or Cliff (from Cheers)?

Neither, really.

37.  The Cosby Show or the Simpsons?

I guess I’d have to go with the Simpsons. I used to watch the Cosby Show and always liked it, but I liked the Simpsons even more. I really need to try and remember to watch some of the recent shows. I’m not sure why we quit watching it, but we got out of the habit of watching pretty much anything.

38.  Worst relationship mistake that you wish you could take back?

I would love to take back my first marriage.

39.  Do you like the person who sits directly across from you at work?

New Person, who I shall refer to as J since that’s what her name starts with, sits directly across from me. I’m not caring for this whole sharing an office thing. I’ll give her lots of credit for being a very pleasant office-mate – she’s quiet and no trouble – but I want my own space back.

I completely missed the point of this question. Yes, I DO like her. I don’t like sharing my space, but I do like J.

40.  If you could get away with it, who would you kill?

Whoever came up with this survey. Will it ever end????

41.  What famous person would you like to have dinner with?

The Queer Eye guys, or anyone from Whose Line. The British Whose Line especially. And I’d prefer the whole cast, because that would be lots of fun. See? I’ll take laughter over romance any day of the week. 

42.  What famous person would you like to sleep with?

EXCUSE me??? That’s ruder than the underwear questions!

43.  Have you ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its intended purpose?

At my last job we would have periodic fire extinguisher training, and we’d have to each put a fire in a big barrel out with one. So I have, but only as practice. Not a REAL fire.

44.  Ever felt like running over a pedestrian?

Only about ten times a day. Ever driven on a college campus?? With ten thousand airbrained students yakking away obliviously on their cellphones as they waltz right out in front of your car? I don’t know why therearen’t bodies all over campus.

45.  When’s the last time you got laid?  Was it good?

Okay, that is IT. I am SO done with this survey!!!