Yesterday

We chatted til 1am. Today, nothing so far.

I don’t reach out.

He keeps talking about having a crazy ass connection w me. He thinks we’re it.

*I* think he’s right but also, Im not fucking hooking up. Hes in a relationship. Unless he’s a jumper, and thats super unhealthy,  too.

But I said in so many words,  I’m not going down that path ever again.

True connections are strong, though. If its meant to be,  it will be. I’m just not going to do it. The excitement is nice, the random attention is nice.

But when he decides after finally getting me, he won’t come back… that’s what I cannot tolerate. Years of Jeff…. silent and not interested anymore.

He is the same, but longer.

Thsts enough for me.  My heart can’t do it.

And for that, its just words on a screen.

Anyway deadbeat made a payment this evening so my girl is going for new shoes and a haircut.

Rich got me a bag of thc goodies.

Im going to sleep well this evening.