Does anyone else feel lonely like me?
I’m a young, smart, attractive, fun girl. I have people who love me and all of life’s essentials.
But for the last handful of years, ever since I’ve been living on my own (away from family) and broke up with my soulmate and my relationship changed with my best friend, I’ve just felt so damn alone and lost and just utterly depressed and hopeless ever since..
and it’s been years. I’m embarrassed. I’ve tried telling people how I feel but I often get the same types of responses, “what do you have to be upset about?! Grow up, it’s life, be an adult.” Aka stop feeling your feelings lol. I’ve gotten these types of reactions from family and friends.
I think all I need it just someone to talk to. I took that for granted when I had those relationships, but I don’t anymore, and I haven’t known what to do with myself ever since. It’s exhausting living like this.. living your life with a weight on your heart 24/7 and you just don’t know how to help yourself.
It’s funny, people love talking to me though. People come to me all the time with their problems and their thoughts and feelings. But if I try to ask that same person to return the favour, for some reason they don’t listen to me the same way they like it how I listen to them.
Anyway. Is it normal to for people to look at you and see a confident, lively, happy person, but in reality you’re just so f’n alone and just sad and literally spend your life that way for years just trying one thing after another to help yourself but nothing works… well. I guess that’s my only question. Thanks for reading
Yes. And my wife, who is 66, feels the same way about being a sounding board for everyone and no one listening to her in return.
A breakup with someone you’ve been with for a long time is like a death. The reference to him (or her) as your “soulmate” might suggest you haven’t accepted that this person wasn’t. Sometimes, we need to re-examine our relationships to see if we are benefiting from and, if not, lessen contact with them, or cut them out all together. It doesn’t mean they are bad or you are lacking somehow. But if you’ve asked and they won’t or are unable to reciprocate, it might be time to cut them loose or limit your interaction with them.
No matter the public facade, most people are struggling with self-doubts, regrets, and feelings of inadequacy. I still have them. Introspection is not a bad thing as long as it doesn’t take over your life. You might want to see a professional who can recognize patterns that sabotage your well-being (if that’s the case). The little bit I’ve read here seems to suggest you invest more of yourself than you get in return from your friends or lover. The fault may not be with you, but with them.
@solovoice thank you for your insight.
I enjoyed your own stories.
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I think you are not alone in feeling this way – I think many of the people that are very giving about listening to others and helping them with their problems, they are the people that could also really use someone who would listen to them. Maybe you can find some listening ears here on Open Diary – welcome!
@thediarymaster thank you
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hugs
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Welcome to OD!
Opinions around here are just like belly-buttons. Everyone has one, some of them are better looking than others! For what it’s worth, here is mine (opinion, not belly button): I think that all of us carry a mostly invisible weight that others have a difficult time seeing.
People love talking to you because you are a good listener. But that’s a real skill, and you shouldn’t expect it from everyone. (The reason that you’ve been disappointed when you’ve shared your story in the past.)
The good news: There are A LOT of really good listeners here! I think that in joining us, you’ve done more for your wellbeing than you may realize.
You talk, we’ll listen…
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