ONLY IN ISRAEL

 

"Only in Israel "    By Israeli humorist, Efraim Kishon

Israel is a country surrounded on all sides by enemies, but the people’s
headaches are caused by the neighbors upstairs.
Israel is the only country in the world where the coffee is already so good
that Starbucks went bankrupt trying to break into the local Market.
Israel is one of the few places in the world where the sun sets into the
Mediterranean Sea .
Israel is the only country in the world whose soldiers eat three sets of
salads a day, none of which contain any lettuce (which is not really a
food), and where olives ARE a food and even a main course in a meal, rather
than something one tosses into a martini.
Israel is the only country in the world where one is unlikely to dig a
cellar without hitting ancient archaeological artifacts.
Israel is the only country in the world where the leading writers in the
country take buses.
Israel is the only country in the world where the graffiti is in Hebrew.
Israel is the only country in the world that has a National Book Week,
during which almost everyone attends a book fair and buys books.
Israel is a country where the same drivers who cuss you and flip you the
bird will immediately pull over and offer you all forms of help if you look
like you need it.
Israel is the only country in the world with bus drivers and taxi drivers
who read Spinoza and Maimonides.
Israel is the only country in the world where no one cares what rules say
when an important goal can be achieved by bending them.
Israel is the only country in the world where reservists are bossed around
and commanded by officers, male and female, younger than their own children.
Israel is the only country in the world where "small talk" consists of loud,
angry debate over politics and religion.
Israel is the only country in the world where the ultra-Orthodox Jews beat
up the police and not the other way around.
Israel is the only country in the world where inviting someone "out for a
drink" means drinking cola, coffee or tea.
Israel is the only country in the world where bank robbers kiss the mezzuzas
when they leave with their loot.
Israel is one of the few countries in the world that truly likes and admires
the United States .
Israel is the only country in the world that introduces applications of
high-tech gadgets and devices, such as printers in banks that print out your
statement on demand, years ahead of the United States and decades ahead of
Europe .
Israel is the only country in the world where everyone on a flight gets to
know one another before the plane lands. In many cases, they also get to
know the pilot and all about his health or marital problems.
Israel is the only country in the world where no one has a foreign accent
because everyone has a foreign accent.
Israel is the only country in the world where people cuss using dirty words
in Russian or Arabic because Hebrew has never developed them.
Israel is the only country in the world where patients visiting physicians
end up giving the doctor advice.
Israel is the only country in the world where everyone strikes up
conversations while waiting in lines.
Israel is the only country in the world where people call an attaché case a
"James Bond" and the "@" sign is called a "strudel".
Israel is the only country in the world where there is the most mysterious
and mystical calm ambience in the streets on Yom Kippur, which cannot be
explained unless you have experienced it. Sunsets in Jerusalem are gorgeous
every evening.
Israel is the only country in the world where people read English, write

Hebrew, and joke in Yiddish.