02/21/2010

  I think no matter what, if you give me the moon you won’t see me smile. So much I do is based on feeling alone, that  I can’t help but think that I am a bit too selfish at times.  It’s not that I really think more of myself than anyone else, but more like I am such an emotional person that I can let my anger, sadness, or even joy get the best of me and really act out whatever it is I am going thru.  I have never been a quiet person, thats for sure. Anyone who ever read about my high school years knows that I was always doing something and always seemed to be in the middle of things at the worst time possible. I am like bad timing girl. And im just thinking thats the way it will always be.

I found joe and my love for him at a crossroads in his life, and in mine. we were both looking for different things at different times, and now we have evolved into even different people, living under the same roof. I have lived with him for almost 7 months already, and we can still stand to look at eachother the next morning when we wake up. But I get down so much because i dont have a job and i cant help but think that he resents having to take care of me,but today that could all change.

i have a second job interview. YES! This could be it for me. YES YES YES! its a server bartender position, at a really nice restaurant, and i had two great first interviews there yesterday. im so  nervous but for some reason i have a really good feeling about this, so i hope my gma is up there wishing for me like she used to that i will get the job!
Im tired of being lazy and sitting around at home, I WANT to work.