Plastic surgery Dreams

  As of latly I have been thinking a lot about wanting implants, because after i lost weight, and then gained it back, and the lost it, and the gained it, along with all the strange muscle tissue that I have built and lost in the last couple years, I guess I have a bit of an uneven problem. Alluring, surley as I can now add that to the list of things I hate about my body.

Females deal with enough body image issues to have to deal with this too. So here I am, back on the mild depression train, and feeling altogether useless because I cant find a job to save my life.  I know everyone is dissapointed in me. I know that I can do so much with myself but I can’t find anyone who seems willing to even get me a shot at some kind of interview.

But Back to the surgery, I found a website, myfreeimplants.com, where girls can sign up for free and chat with benefactors that make small or large donations to their cause. Some girls have raised like 11k, and thats amazing to me. However, the way you make the  donations seems a little scary for my timid lifestyle. the men generally expect in return live chats, and racy photos etc. I mean, yea they never find out who you really are and they dont see you in person, but its still such a personal privacy invasion. I don’t know how I feel about it. i would personally prefer that someone would just donate to my cause because I deserve it, not because I have to show you my mishapen tits. I guess it’s just something I am going to have to think long and hard about.

I’m possibly going to be starting pole dance classes at flirty girl fitness now, because not only is joe willing to help me, but so is my mother. The fact that this may finally really be happening to me hasnt sunk in yet, since i have actually gained a little weight and it saddens me cuz i was so skinny for a while. Now i feel like im back to my old chunky self, which is average ish, but im always hard on myself, but i just KNOW WHERE I WANT TO BE weightwise. I wasnt a tiny tiny stick but i looked really good for me and it was healthy. I’d love to get back there, because really who one day wants to be taught pole dancing by a fatty instructor, even if she CAN land the moves??