To Tell or Not To Tell

Am I the only one who is confused about this?

If you have a friend who is constantly being backstabbed at work, would you tell them? Would you let them be aware of the knives planted in their back?

Well, I would. And I did. That’s just me. I wouldn’t let anyone be blindsidedly talked trash about, not in my watch.

So the backstabbing at work, no matter what field, is vicious. People hug on the right and then talk shit on the left. And I couldn’t handle anymore how my friend has been a victim of bad mouths for months. And I believe in the philosophy that “If it’s only one or three persons talking bad about you they are the problem. If there’s more than that you are the problem”. And I admit it, my friend is cocky and a dick as perceived by normal people but he doesn’t think he is. Atleast he doesn’t know he is.

So one day he was a dick to me and so I told him of the painful truth that a lot of people dislike him because people think he is a cocky dick while half expecting that he already knew it. But to my surprise he didn’t. He went from shocked to devastated in sixty seconds. And I now I feel bad about telling him.

He said that the people at work are the family that he held on to during the pandemic. They are the reason he didn’t end up his life during that time.

I probably must have overestimated him thinking that he’d take it maturely and use it to self-reflect and do what needs to be done. On the contrary, he prodded me of their names so he can “fix things and their relationship with him”. So I said “you can’t change people or their perceptions, but you can change yourself and your perception” and he disagrees.

Well, I tried. If he does something positive about it and come out better that would be great but if he hates me for letting him know, that’s his choice. I’m just a concerned citizen.

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May 1, 2022

I think you did the right thing. It’s up to him what he does with the information. Hopefully one day he will think about it, let it sink in and try to change his ways. It’s awful people have to be so two faced.