What is happening to me
A few hours ago I was feeling so sad. Now, I feel excited and motivated. I guess doing something nice for myself really pays off
——————
while feeling bad about myself, I decided to go look at electric guitars. And the vendor helped my try them and I loved it. Then I went to the gym and got myself a few books. That reallllyyy elevated my mood.
—————-
now im concerned I might be bipolar. Because i have days where I fantasize about death and I feel so so so shitty about myself and right after that I can feel on top do the world.
——————-
I also struggle with self identity so either:
1) I am currently manic
2) I have bpd and I am hypomanic
3) I am not mentally ill, and since I’m not used so feeling my emotions, I interpret fluctuations as mental illness.