11 Years Later

I need an outlet where I can be myself, and like the rest of the gay community I am currently watching “Love, Victor” on Hulu and of course it’s giving me all the feels.

There is a guy who graduated from the same college as me and I’ve been thinking about messaging him some questions about his coming out story, but I don’t think I’m ready to cause that much drama yet. And then I remembered this platform and decided to come on and make a new account. But, my email was “already in use” and I realized I could probably recover my old account. Which has led to me reading my old sad entries from college ELEVEN years ago!!

How I’ve changed, but in the reasons for this writing on this platform not so much.

Now 32, and still closeted and still conflicted but feeling like the veil is getting thinner. And then bull shit like this fantasy coming out story of “Love, Victor” and it gives me unrealistic hope.

So there’s a lot I want to share with you, and I hope that this platform has become more social because I feel like I’d really like to scream in a pillow that screams back to me and tells me I’m not alone, or can still stand with me in some anonymous fashion. So more later, just wanted to say that if you find this entry and you happen to go read any of my old stuff, know that I was young and dumb and the world (for me) was a much different place 11 years ago.

I hope from my new writings you see growth and can understand my brain and my Confliction.

Welcome back.


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December 17, 2020

I was just as surprised as you were when I found this platform has returned. And I fully understand where you come from, believe me. I was not out when I started writing on here, but my experience is different and I, too, hope this platform becomes a pillow to punch and scream in. I’ve got things to say, myself!