22, Lesbian
When I was younger, I used to think something was wrong with me for liking girls or maybe it was just the environment I grew up in. Sometimes I still find guys attractive physically, but I can’t imagine having an emotional connection with them. I’ve never had a serious relationship, and I’m still closeted. Back then I was too scared to tell my friends, since all of them are straight and I’m really feminine, so they’d just say “maybe it’s a phase.” I never really had a friend group or circle I could relate to. If anyone here feels the same or feels alone, maybe we could start a little community (like an Instagram group chat).
To start, there is nothing wrong with you. Sexual orientation isn’t a set of clearly defined, unchanging boxes. It is a spectrum within which we grow and identify and change and revert and.. you get the point. You don’t have to fit squarely within a specific box is my point.
I recommend looking into your local area’s resources. Is there an LGBT community center? Maybe your local library has a social group? Maybe get involved with something like softball? Fiber arts? There are tons of places/activities where you may find your people.
You are valid, your experience and feelings are valid. Friends who are only friends with a fake version of you are not real friends. Love and friendship do not come at a cost of your identity.
Keep on keepin’ on and best of luck. Hopefully by now (over a year later) things have improved for you!
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