…sad

My dad died.

Months ago, back in June – I was there, I held his hand.  My sister and I were with him pretty much 24/7 for his last 10 days, then when his breathing changed I knew.  The carers in the nursing home had explained what would happen.  My sister had just drifted off to sleep moments before, I woke her and we both said goodbye.

I broke a little at 2am on Sunday 5th June and I’m not sure how to fix myself.  I feel like I don’t really know who I am anymore and I don’t know who I can talk to that will understand.

I just needed to find a safe place to write it down.  I’m not really a fan of over sharing on Social Media and not great at reaching out to friends and family for help – I’m like my dad that way.

He was one of my best friends and I was one of his.  I miss him more than I knew possible.

I just feel sad, pretty much all the time.

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December 13, 2022

I would feel so sad too. It sounds like you and your dad had a good relationship.  Writing your feelings is a good start.  Do you and your sister ever talk about the loss you’re both going through? At some point when your ready you could look for a support group or even therapy.  Losing a loved one takes a long time to process.  Hang in there. <3

December 13, 2022

@celestialflutter

My sister lives abroad with her family, we are in contact pretty much every day though – even if it’s just sending a quick hi to one another.  It’s what we do.  We’re incredibly close, but don’t really ever do deep and meaningful conversations – neither of us are very good at that, we can’t really find the words to say out loud sometimes but I do believe we both know what the other is thinking – sometimes with us, the less we say, the clearer it is.

I have reached out to a councillor, I have an appointment next week – I hope we connect well and she can help guide me through all of this.

thank you for taking the time to reply x