Something more

An affair to remember.

If it could be called an affair it would be, but it is simply words, read, thought over and considered. I wonder if the great writers of the world always fell in love with muses or if muses simply inspired love tales. Inspiration beyond a doubt is always left by the muse.

It has been a long time since I have felt the poetic call of words. They have remained dull and lifeless for me, they have had no meaning other than simple communication.
My muse has awoken a thought pattern in my mind, no in my soul that causes words to be more than the basic meanings behind them.

A thought process that is cycled through the soul or heart before they come out through the fingers to mean more. The aimless rambling of my own uninspired life.

Could be a depression phase, it happens.

It could be my muse, I found one, haven’t really had a muse since the man standing outside of my job when I still worked for the phone company. The one that stood there lost..

This muse I can return to each day, forced to think, forced to make more of words then they really are.

It is not truly an affair as one would think an affair might require love, or sex. But it is an affair of the mind, something to force one to think, to think. To be reminded of the person on the inside that got lost somewhere along the road to "normal".

The feelings I was going through was a one of sudden panic.  But it has been relieved by a lovely person.  I don’t like unexpected things and when things from my past pop up suddenly I tend to need to recoil back and take note of what it going on.  Silly me I over reacted, so typical of me, but all is well before any drama at all came of it.  I got my coffee, spent some money (which as a manic depressive always makes me feel better) about $70 in an hour, not bad I’ve done more.

So I’m glad I see my pdoc wednesday I want to discuss some things.  I really really want to freak out, I don’t know what’s stopping me from doing so.  Common sense?  Not my medications as I’m not currently taking it, I should, might really help with the whole sleep pattern issue.

So I am going to ramble about inane things outside of my framed text.  I bought car wash stuff. Yea lame I know but we got the spicket outside working and a hose, so I bought some sponges, some car wash stuff, and stuff for the interior as well.  It’s mostly for Justin, although I’m likely to want to do it as well because it means playing in the water outside, I like to play.

I also bought stuff to do my hair.  I’m going back to my natural color, it’ll be nice, I think I picked up a color that is as close to natural as I might be able to get.  Sally’s is a good place for such things, the woman who was the manager was really nice, one of the few nice black people I’ve met in Missouri, it was actually a breathe of fresh air to have it be a positive experience.  I liked her.  Growing up in California I never really noticed attitude differences between the races (well except for maybe first generation people like parents of my friends or grandparents, but they never seemed rude).  Then I moved to missouri and things changed.  So the fact people are indeed different and behave differently because of their race amazed me, it was nice to see what I considered a normal interaction with a human being despite our racial differences, this doesn’t happen in Missouri 99.9% of the time.  Thank you.  I almost want to go back and tell her thank you, but then it would be me making it an issue lol, sad. (Moving on to my experience as a customer that has nothing to do with racial differences.)  I will return to that Sally’s again, I am a firm believer in good customer service and she was exceptionally helpful, got off the phone as she saw me coming to the door greeted me as soon as I came in asked if I needed help, answered all my questions, was wonderful.  So many times have I gone into a place and the people were rude (mostly dealing with hardware stores as I was dealing with the remodeling, and Home Depot SUCKS on customer service) and unhelpful.  That type of experience can set your whole day. Make you feel good, which means one will be nice to others which will inturn make them feel good.  Such a lovely thing Dharma is 🙂  Spread the love, ok at least spread the good mood.