So im43 now married and a shit ton of kids. Ended up on a disability after trucking for many years but no one cares I was a trucker they treat like a homeless meth head everywhere I go. I believe in god and enjoy helping others. One of our kids is a young lady who we saved from a meth house and is doing amazing. She came probably 90lbs and in a month we’ve gotten her to 100. Our oldest daughter who hates her mom is happy tries to help  her dad destroy everyone, also the oldest has tried to spread shes a crack head to hurt the friendship of her and  my middle aged daughter. I do not drink at all I chose not to when I was 17 after a issue and have had a total of under 30 beers in my adult life,I dont need it?

My youngest was almost murdered at 9 months gestational, the ex husband who enjoys party’s with the kids and getting them wasted and then working up any anger they had if we said no to anything and they’re not happy we will first get weird reports of things not in our character to ministry of child and family and its things that blow our brains up when we hear them like starving them and they would report this if we didnt have a snack they wanted at any given moment. The reports always were setup with apparent violence from me but ive never been violent in 40 years of my life but I bit and hit my brothers when I was 3-5 so I may be a bad person because of only these few things. I dont commit crimes I think crime is gross. Okay but I littered once really heavily because I was really hungry and I make sure kids eat first always. So I dumped a few trash bags up in the bush without any clear thought and to highlight my non criminal mindset, I hid nothing and had some old pictures in their of the family so they found me quick in my town and I admitted to it and I think we paid a small fine and then I went up and cleaned it. Im sorry if any of you are irritated I did that. It was 8 years ago and Ive never been tempted even to do it.

I dont recognize Alphas which tend to piss people off. I have severe ptsd to an extreme because of things done to me in my life. Im 300lbs and solid and 6’2.  Yelling or calling me names will not even incur a reaction out of me and calm questions begin to them. I see humans exactly the same in all walks of life and even if you had a gun to my head you would not get the reaction your hoping for. Ive been pointlessly attacked by the oldest for loving her mom and she doesnt deserve me is what she says. I have video evidence of their lies and setting me up because they would tell us what they were going to do a head of time oddly and I would prepare for a past trauma release usually violent. We would call the police but they arrest me for stopping the killing with myself or pushing them back. All those years I was apparently so violent they reported but had not one bruise or scratch so I was confused as to why no government service would even care including rcmp, they told us dont call and told our 12 year olds they were weird for liking the rcmp and now all these years later those one comments to them and they fucking hate rcmp and wouldn’t call them for nothing. I dont blame them, the ones in our town are being found they are sexual predators in their own rcmp detachment. They breached our privacy and lied about a whole bunch and arressted me and took away my new born seven days after birth because some thought I said I wish everyone would just die after being told all morning the baby should have been killed by her dad. So cops came all was fine, I wish everyone would just die turns out isnt even a threat. so Im home and making cookies with the kids for 2 days, oh we neeed a bit of help again too much trauma has gone on now everyones bickering im telling them all weneed to get out and get our mind off stuff . the kids and I made cookies and on monday the ministry decided to have me arrested and took all the kids with our 7 day old infant. So no violence, no history of violence ever,and they removed all the kids because of a I wish statement apparently but what I WAS saying that day was “why does everyone always want me to die” that was the threat so they attacked and attacked. I just sat almost laughing at a point because of how foolish the rcmp and ministry looked. they were acting like im a regular abuser, fuck that shit not ever in my life not to a male nor female, not to adult nor child. God would burn me forever. Ive been dead 13 times now. I get send their to visit with dad and god only spoke to me once and showed me where we go upon judgment if I fail in life. Its horrible and involved fire and a weird dark place with a single cage in fire for me. Its the cage the foster mom used to put me in! so yeah I try maybe harder than others to stay true to myself AND others. Death is not scary to me at all and you forget how you get their so it doesnt matter what humans do to you. Absolute paradise and peace afterwards. Or the other place forever or until God decides we learnt our lesson. I always laugh when people say how long life is and in my head I know eternity is longer. So my ptsd makes me remember out of order and sometimes write strong emotional situations like I dont care but I do very much.

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