Do unto others

Half way through my vacation, Vickie started texting me.


She was sending me an “update” that I never asked for. She was using this “update” as a veil to ask me if I was with her lover.


Roger had told her he was going to his cottage for the weekend with his wife and she wondered if he was telling her the truth or if he was with me.


She just doesn’t get it that it isn’t ME he’s lying about or sneaking off to see. She, herself, told me he was too battered to cheat with anyone anymore and that he loves his wife with renewed vigor. Yet, she just can’t help herself…her mangled self esteem gets the best of her and she has to know if he’s seeing me.


I honestly do not understand why she is jealous of someone he has not spoken to in 2 years.


I ignored her.


All that did was fuel her raging fire.


She asked if I was getting her messages. I didn’t answer. So she started calling.


When I didn’t pick up from the number she was calling from, she started calling me from the homeless shelter landline telephone.


That’s when I decided I had better answer her calls. She is not stable and I knew things would progress if I didn’t answer.


She is apparently living in a homeless shelter because Roger’s wife insisted she be out of their rental and no longer squatting in their main house. She was desperate for contact with him, all the while proclaiming she was strong and not giving him sex.


So I did the only real thing my heart would let me do. I gave her comfort.


And just WTF.


How did it end up that I was now giving comfort to the very woman that hated me for absolutely no reason at all, that threatened my family and my livelihood with blackmail threats and threats of physical violence for simply calling my lover on his telephone?? How? And more importantly, WHY?!


These calls and texts are her way of saying hurtful things to me. She just does it nicely, so it doesn’t appear to be intentional.


She told me that he told her NOT to text me and “get me going”


That’s just him being a dick.


That’s basically saying, “don’t dredge shit up with her ass so I have to take a written beating” and that is SO self important and arrogant and it pisses me off. I’m sick of him wounding my pride. I’m sick of him insulting me through her.


She also asks me in about 80 different ways if I still want him.. that’s her bottom line in all of this. She wants to know what the chances are of me taking him back, because she still wants him after he put her out on the street and chose his wife over her shelter. The delusion in all this is evident. The man is not speaking to me and hasn’t spoken to me in years now. He doesn’t want me back.


He is on the run from all that he’s done and suffered and the bridges he’s burned are what’s lighting his way out of the hell he put himself into.


Somehow, the flames are still licking at my ass cheeks.


Funny thing is, I don’t dislike Vickie. I really don’t. I just don’t trust her. I know she is in pain, and she is never anything but nice and complimentary once she finds out that I have no intention of hurting her. She keeps saying that she and I are a lot alike, physically. For some reason it is important to her that we be of equal beauty or attractiveness. Her heart and self esteem are wounded and she’s broken and trying to find her way out of a hole. She needs support and she admitted to me that she is scared and has nobody in her corner. She admits her wrong doings and she is remorseful.


That’s more than anyone else has done.


So, it’s a mixed bag of emotions.


I cannot be unkind to another human. Even if they hurt me tremendously. It is not in my physical make up. God won’t allow me to harden this heart inside of me to other people’s pain and suffering. I am simply not cut from that cloth and that’s ok.


I accept that about myself.


And that doesn’t make me weak.


It makes me a fucking warrior.


Some people leave a relationship that is rife with infidelity because of the dangers of sexually transmitted diseases.


I guess what I’m trying to say is that when your partner cheats, you’re fortunate if you escape this.


In laymen’s terms…


Some people get VD.


I got Vickie.


Have a good day, fellow diarists. Don’t forget to count your blessings.












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