Down For The Count

This past week has been tailspin after tailspin of emotions. 

I am just so tired of not seeing Jason.  I want him to miss me.  I am so tired of not even feeling like a couple.  I want attention, I need it.  I just can’t stand be busy anymore.

It frustrates me because we’re only seventeen and in high school and we can’t make time for each other.  I doubt our lives are going to get less busy as time goes on. 

My kitty is on my lap.  Ü

We talked briefly on the phone today and he said that tomorrow night Lindsay is coming home and he’ll probably be hanging out with Lydia.  I can’t ask him to not hang out with Lindsay or Lydia because they’re never home. 

It’s even that much more frustrating because I told him I have a really hard time when he doesn’t pay very much attention to me.  We’ve even talked about how we’re so busy we don’t even have time to make out.

This started out me just wanting to get some.  I was irritated because we were too busy to even have make out time and it has degressed into missing any affection and then any attention and anything. 

I’m too depressed by all of it to even want to be horny.

And I havn’t even had an opportunity to talk to Jason about all of this.

I want to make him miss me.  And sometimes I just want to yell that he’s not the only one who wants to be with me.  I’ll admit, I’m a hottie at the church camps.  Hah. 

It just all sucks.

We’re not going to break up, I know that, but we never have time for each other.

 

Anyway, other than that, things are good.  I stayed home last night because I needed to make some money by doing chores and Jenn, Mel, Matt, Hannah and Jason came over and surprised me.  It was nice.  We went to Mel’s house and sat around in the dark and pretended like the power was out.  That is so us.

Tonight everybody was going to go to Late Night in the Phog, but I didn’t feel like being crowded and watching basketball, so I’m hanging out with Cait and Adam.  I’m excited for that.

Tomorrow everybody is going to the Ren. Festival so I might be hanging out with Cait again and I don’t have anything to do tomorrow night.  Maybe I’ll see if Jon Rice wants to hang out or I’ll call up Andrew. 

Maybe I do homework.

I’m so lonely.

I look at picture of Evie and Kelsie and I last night and we look like such preteens.  I had long, long beautiful curly/ wavy hair.  I used to just leave the house with we hair.  I didn’t even brush it or touch it or dry it or anything.  It was just so curly.  I want that hair again.  I tried to wear my measly shoulder-length hair curly today, but I didn’t do something right, because it just looks kind of sloppy.  Meh.  I need to go hair product shopping.

Katie {Sleeping late, but we’re not lazy
Getting older, but we’re still crazy}