It’s raining! Its pouring (from an old diary)

It was a warm and rainy afternoon, when I discovered the song,” It’s raining, it’s pouring, I’m stuck inside how boring!”
Being of reasonable imagination, and questionable reason, I had to find something entertaining to do! Lightening flashed and a light went on in my head! In the basement, in the very back of my home was a forgotten lair. It was the lab of DR. PORKINSTEIN!!!
“TO THE LABORATORY!’ I bellowed to my lab assistant, Garfield.(A black Siamese 25 pound cat) The storm raged in it’s fury as I went to my labs cryogenic chamber, which happened to resemble a full sized Frigidaire, and brought forth the specimen!
INGREDIENTS:
1 CANNED HAM
2 PORK CHOPS
2 BOB EVANS GROUND SAUSAGES
4 PORK SAUSAGE PATTIES
20 PORK SMOKEY LINKS
LIGHTENING
In the confines of my lab I stitched the limbs to the torso. First the pork chop thighs, then the ground sausage arms, the sausage patties for hands and feet, and the links as fingers and toes.

It was a dreadful undertaking, but with the help of my lab assistant there was little room for error, or cleanup!
I then had to raise the electrodes to bring my creation to life! My father had a small flag flying from his c.b. antenna tower, which I used to tie the coat hanger and wire to. I then wired the other ends to bolts in the neck of my creation. The most cheifest of calamities!
PORKINSTEIN’S MONSTER!!!
BEING A TROUBLED SCIENTIST,(I WAS NEVER MAD) I needed a soundtrack, so while I waited for the fated moment I popped in my Alice Cooper 8-track, “Feed my Frankenstein”.
There was a horrendous crack as the lightening hit the electrodes! The lights didn’t hesitate at all, but went out in a blink, there was the smell of cooked meat, much like bacon, and a bellow from my father as the lightening shorted out his radio, and nearly fried him.
The whole episode, was a flaming failure. Well more like a simmering one. Every fuse in the box needed to be replaced. My father’s c.b. was trashed, and the cat was never the same again. $50.00 worth of pork products were sent screaming to oblivion, and I, well you know, spent the rest of the afternoon stuffing the right side of my brain in my head.
So children please believe me when I say, Gotta play it safe around electricity!