Why do I?

Why do I let my heart feel things so easily?  Why am I so taken by someone so quickly?  Why do I so often set myself up to fail? 

He is about as special as they get.  He works hard, is devoted to his friends, and even if he never spoke a word, his smile says everything.  I am drawn to him.  My life is not roses and cherries on top.  I haven’t won the lottery.  I am not tall, slender, with long blonde hair.  I don’t have the greatest IQ.  I often take two steps forward to find myself ten steps behind, BUT…. my life is great.  I love where I am at, where God has put me.  Sometimes he says "no," as I look around bewildered, thinking certainly I am doing his will, but somehow his answer always comes to me later in a better, sweeter answer.  

Life is too short to let the good things pass you by without a word.  I have heard mixed things — "if you like someone tell them, more times than not a guy is to shy to tell a girl."  "Don’t ever tell a guy how you feel, if they like you they will come to you."  Honestly, no one wants to be hurt.  Everyone should know they are loved, whether a friend or more. 

I might have a year to live, I might have 70, but regardless I don’t want to spend that time alone.  I have so much to offer someone.  I am kind, considerate, optimistic.  I do not worry.  I am patient, a great mother, and will make an even better wife.  I am independent, but insecure.  I am not jealous.  

I want to tell him how I feel, but "nothing."  I am too afraid to open myself up to such hurt.  🙁  I think I love him!